OUR pink shirt

This was what I wore yesterday and Anna wore the same as well. Yeah! The exact same one! Hmm..such a coincidence?

Nope. [And not to worry, I'm not going to give any of you an April Fool's joke or trick. ] Actually, we bought it together last week in Bangsar. FOS was on a 'buy one free one' bargain and this idea just came up. We got this same pink, baby-tee and had a deal to wear it in this week's Cell Group meeting, which was yesterday. It has been quite some time since I have this kind of 'fun'.

I used to do this with my bunch of secondary school's girlfriends. Besides school shirts, all of us has a similar shirt ( as in same design but different colour), bracelet, necklace pendant and pencil case! Some of us have other similar stuffs as well like shorts and key chains..but, that was the good- old- funny days. We used to ask each other what will we be wearing.. so quite often, few of us will wear exactly the same outer attire. Or sometimes, we will just set, "Ok, this time we shall all wear skirt and sleeveless shirt". hehe, Back then, it was really funny cause we, as girls, did not really dare to dress up in skirts and sleeveless yet. So we have to specially set a day where we will all share the courage and try to look like and dress like a decent girl. haha. Time passes. People change. Now, each of my buddies have grown to become a pretty, fair and sweet girl-ie. luv them all ;)

The feeling of 'together-ness' is something I did and do miss a lot, especially when each of us has gone to pursue a different route and consequently, time spent together is very much less.

However, this time, the little act of being sister like and put on the same shirt with her has brought me the warmth of joy with some adorable, naughty gigglings that are just so simply nice :)

I'm having a BIG head

I am now at the point where I am feeling like stress to the max. I owe it all to the sudden surge of tasks which need immediate attention and action. Everything is up with glaring red flag, signalling for great urgency, giving me nothing but a BIG head.

And when i said sudden, it means unexpected. Unexpectedly tells that I am not prepared nor did it come across my mind that this will occur. Let alone the sudden attack is enough to give me a headache and make my head big big. With all the attached deadlines in short notice, that is like pumping extra large amount of stress booster, enough to cause an enormous increase of pressure and make me go like this:

hmmph, that looks rather constipated.

Yes, a little pressure helps to move us forward. I agree. But when the pressure exceeds, it makes us stumbling down instead.

My friend told me this in reply:

Pressure won't make things tumble, if it is evenly spread out among everyone...but if the pressure falls on a point or just one person, then it will really go tumbling down.

Very well said. That makes sense, and I too hope to find people to help share and spread out the pressure as well. But where to and how to spread to everyone when I can't find anyone? sigh.

And as the pressure within continue to build, I will probably end up like that:

Note to all: I would prefer you to bring me any flowers but the normal, old crysanthemum you see on any other graves.

With special thanks to mr bestman for the pair of attentive ears. You helped to keep my head intact. hehe. Thanks a million =)

what was it tht i was doing?

Another week deducted from my semester break. Time sure has passed really fast especially when one is occupied with stuffs and activities. People are wondering what have been keeping me occupied. When asked about this, words did not really manage to crawl out of my throat. Perhaps this is some kind of 'holiday redundancy syndrome'. It is like, yeah... what is it that I'm busy with huh? ermm...hmmm....well, there's something... but what is it huh?

Now you see the effect of a too long break does to you? It kills brain cells and cause some certain degree of very apparent reduncancy, especially those requiring spontaneous reaction.

After given much ample time, I recall in detail what did i basically do for all the big chunks of free time. I'm like a part time housewife now. I do some basic house chores everyday, from sweeping to helping in the kithcen. Ever wonder what does housewives do all day long in the house? Those basic tasks to make and maintain a house as a home are what those that has consumed all the time and energy. Salutes to all great moms and houswives! =)

Though I am not anywhere close to be fitted the tittle 'housewife' yet, but my current daily activities are pretty much similar to what the woman in your home does. Take my words, it is no easy job. But of course, I can't compare with them. So that are what I was doing. I wasn't occupied by nothing.

BUT, some of my uni mates are really seemed to be consumed by boredom. You never know what boredom can do to you. This particular classmate of mine told me that he is so bored that he is going mad. You'll understand better if u read what he said:


Him: sooo mad that i am scheming plans to take over the world. even writing my political speeches of victory

Me: can i read it?

Him:u want me to type it out now ???

Me:u serious ?

Him: i got no prob. i am so bored that i will do anything now to keep my self busy.here it is:

first day in the global campaign of world domination
Fellow people of this earth
to long have u been opressed by corrupt men of power
those who have used your blood n sweat to seal their own seat of power
but not for long i say
for a new power shall rise
the power of fear to those who think their are the power now
I 'XXX' shall be the bringer of doom to them
but for this to occur
i shall need the people's strength n honour
for that i summon u , free people of their soul n mind
to accompany me in this global domination
the rise of the 'XXX' Empire
cannot be stoped
the fire of the new empire shall spread
from coast to coast
engulfing those who oppose it
I shall crush those who stand in my way
for a better world a few saccrifices has to be taken
a few have to be ed
for the greater the lest then perfect must be removed
for perfection
I a rule for perfection

support for the rise of the new Empire
give your mind n body to me
let me be your mind
with it peace shall prevail
the Doom Guards shall be unleashed to those who oppose the comming legion
we shall fight them in every front that they meet us
mercy must not to be shown to the weak ones
for I can't afford mercy in the name of perfection
so what say u
are u with me
or against the comming empire of gloryfication
The 'XXX' Empire

Me: against?

Him: then u shall be my first victim in the name of perfection
u shall be purified in the eyes of the non-believers
for their worthless stand against me

Me: -_-"

Him: u shall live the living death torture
Him: how was it? u see i am getting mad

Me: i see that. lucky enuf u realize tht

Him: how can i control my thrist for domination on those who live
i need blood in my hands
i need the sound of pain to relax myself
i need to feel the pure taste of bood
how do i quench the lust for scream of pain
i need to inflict pain
missery i must cause
for in chaos that we humans shine the most

*
*
*

Now you see the horror that can strike when boredom settles?


OK, as for now I'm thinking if there's any part time jobs I could take before my routines turn me into a scary, mad human like my friend. Employment from now till June, anyone??

A walk to remember

In Federal Hotel...

Make ups and hairdo, yupz...we are now all set. Just waiting for the groom to pass all the tough tests to get his wife-to-be =)

Anna and I in the hotel room. Doesn't she just look like a little princess? With her sweet smile, her look is just so beautiful and mesmerizing...

And now, for the final 'test' before you are allowed to get the bride.

Ready for it, Edmund? Okies, give us 10 great reasons why you want to take Anna as your wife?...time is ticking... best wishes to ya! ;)

-------------------------------------------------

In Imbi chapel...

A moment to keep and to treasure.

The whole world seems so still, yet it is so touching that it will sure move every single soul that was blessed to witness this precious moment. With prayers and blessings from everyone to bring this couple into one, it is the peak of the ceremony, as they hold hand in hand, uttering their solemn vow in the presence of God.

...to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better or for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish;
from this day forward until death do us part.

And as we ( the bestman and I) handed the rings over to them, it was just such an indescribable feeling, blessed with God's grace, when they finally seal their vow of love with their wedding rings.

11th March 06, it is a walk to remember. On that day, they walked out of the church as husband and wife.

All in a day's wedding....

It is sure a very tiring day, draining every single unit of energy I have but everything is worthwhile. I felt honoured to be her bridesmaid, to walk the journey together with her. Till the end of the day, it is not on how exhausted I felt but on how thankful I am to be chosen to enjoy this greatest moment of hers' and his'. I seal all these preciously wonderful moments with tears of joy at the bottom of my heart...

A heartfelt congrats to you and Edmund again, Anna! Congrats... =)

A tragic ending

As I was waiting for the orthopedic to consult my grandma, I came across an article on: Flower Power in Feb 06's Urban Health mag. A study on "The Emotional Impact of Flowers" was conducted by Professor Jeannette M.Haviland-Jones, Professor of Psychology, Human Development Lab at Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey, with the help from The Society of American Florist. These are the few points that was mentioned:

• Flowers have an instant impact on happiness.
• Something about flowers has the capacity to break down social barriers, leading to increased contact with family and friends.
• Flowers have immediate and long-term effects on emotional reactions, mood, social behaviours and even memory.
• Flowers were often placed in areas of the home that were open to visitors, suggesting that flowers are a symbol for sharing. Flowers bring about positive emotional feelings in those who enter a room. They make the space more welcoming and create a sharing atmosphere.

---------------------------------------------------------

Well, no doubts on that...

These are the birthday flowers from my sister dearie

The bouquet of white roses I carried as Anna's bridesmaid... a day to remember, a must-keep item, a great moment to cherish...the flowers still bear the sweet memories of 11th March 06

I love them all. From fresh flowers, they will be preserved into 'dried flowers', so that I could keep them as long as I can. They seems to be doing beautifully well all this while as I hung them up upside down to preserve their existence. The strong aroma of the white roses are still as sweet and captivating as ever...

--------------------------------------------------

However, last saturday was a tragic day to begin with. This is what happened:

Those poor little flowers were found dead at the back of my house, in the trash.

The convict? My grandma. She told us that since the flowers are all dried up, she thought that it is time to let the sanitary engineers deal with it and plus, Saturday is a day those DBKL-ians come to collect whats in our the trash. And my precious flowers are in the trash :'(

sigh....

And this is whats left...

The little pearls from the white bouquet; the only thing my grandma saved for me.

My commuter's nightmare

If you read yesterday's Sunday Star newspaper, this is what you see on the frontpage.

A commuter's nightmare. [Got these pic from thestar.online picture gallery.]

Sometimes its really more than a nightmare. I was dropped off at MV's commuter station around 3 sthg in that Saturday evening. When I arrived at the platform, I saw the time was blinking on the board, indicating that the next train is going to show up soon. "phew, good timing", I thought. Yeah, thats only what I thought. The train was no where in sight. Fine, this is quite common actually and I continued waiting, while the crowds continued to pile up 'mountain-ously'. The 2nd train that was scheduled to arrive did not turn up as well. Same goes to the 3rd and then the board goes blank. YES! Nothing! No more next scheduled train. OK, now what?

"... disebabkan gangguan teknikal, tren komuter telah mengalami kelewatan... segala...amat dikesali ..."

...I'm speechless ...

I continued standing there fanning myself, irritative-ly with the commuter ticket, staring at the railway track, hoping that if I stare long enough, the train might appear and bring me back. I desperately need to get back. It is already half past four and I have to prepare and leave for Anna's wedding dinner by 6.30pm. How can i possibly make it when I'm still stranded here?

At that moment, how I wished there's someone I could ask for help. Yeah, in my dreams. Urggh... I stormed up to ask the attendant how long more will it take for a train to finally appear magically. I wasn't the only one. I waited for the others to finish and when asked, I was told that a train is currently heading here to pick us up, in about 20 mins time. ONE train to pick all these crowds up? He remained silence. Ah, forget it!

Then a lady, a total stranger, approached me and ask me what happened and bla bla...

We were in a rush and we decided to get our tickets refunded and opt for a taxi instead, though the recent rise in petrol price means that they are probably going to charge us with a crazy price. (that is one of the reason why I was in such a dilemma and was quite reluctant to quit waiting and go get a taxi instead)

I guess I see no other better choice. It is already 5pm! I taxi-pooled with the lady. Thank God! At least, we shared out the taxi fare. We got down at Segambut commuter station, one stop before Kepong's, as her car was parked there. I got into her car and she dropped me off at one of the bus stop on her way to pick up her children. And from there, I called to ask my mom to fetch me back.

The lady did ask, wouldn't my mom be shocked that I actually go 'tumpang' a total stranger's car?

I smiled. (I'm late and I see no other choice and I don't think of anything evil that you would do to me, erm..rite? ) hehe. Well, you trusted me as well and so I trust you as well. (what am I talking? what does she need to trust me for anyway?..whatever) But if it was a guy, I wouldn't dare to do so.

Anyway, I got back home safely though I was late for the dinner. The take home messageS are:

1. If you are using the commuter service, 1 hour time allowance is NOT enough. Do allow at least maybe, erm...3 hours? or maybe more. But if you are not in a rush, you can always spend half day waiting for the train to finally appear and enjoy being sandwiched in the train. Oh, an oxygen tank may come handy at times like that.

2. Bring more money so that you can always opt for a taxi, alone or not, when you really can't wait for the magic to do its job.

3. Magic doesn't work well on trains.

4. Prayers work. Pray to God. Thank God, I met that lady.

5. If you have someone like your buddy, boyfriend or husband,(who knows how to drive and have a car, peferably,) that is 24 hours on call, you have an advantage and you shall see more options available when in great need of help.

6. Follow our leader. Datuk Seri Ong Ka Ting took Putra LRT and ERL, not KTM commuter.

But then again, places where only KTM commuter can bring you to, keep the fingers cross and just hope that you'll get there (0n time?).

7. Forget about the 30 cents frustration because the commuter's nightmare can drive you crazy. So keep your feet on the pedals again.

8. Time is precious; much precious than money/ petrol.

9. If this happens to you, you can always refund the ticket. (in case you didn't know)

10. Bring along sufficient water and probably something to give you sufficient sugar input to sustain the long hours of standing, to prevent dehydration and to keep yourself as calm and cool as possible(,though it is not quite possible).

Ooops, I forgot to warn you that this post consists heavy dose of frustration; its not U rated.

The rehearsal

The petrol went up 30 cent and we all felt it. Today, we were all gathered at church before leaving to the chapel at Imbi, which I have no idea where on earth it is. We were lack of transportation because the petrol price increament has effectively reduced the number of drivers. So, I had to drive. Fine with me then. I told the other drivers to drive slower so they could lead me to the chapel as we (me and the others in my car) are not familiar with the roads. Ok, so all of us went off and i was the second car to go. Within 10 mins, all the other cars overtook me and I became the last in line. Its ok, as long as I still have someone to trail. However, 'zig-zag-ZAP!' the last car that I was trailing dissapeared from my sight within minutes. I knew it! I knew no one listened to what I've said just now. So, the yellow road runner was left alone, seeking its way through. It did not feel good at all. There was a mixture of feelings, including dissapointment. Both negative's and positive's seems to be on war, trying to dominate over each other. Never mind 'who' won; neither am I saying.

---------------------------------------------

And so tonight was the rehearsal. Gosh! It was only rehearsal and I can feel the tense and my stomach seems to be twisted a million times. Every steps seems to be like forever and worst still, I can't even hold still (wow, tht rhymes). I was 'vibrating' all over, especially everytime when I lift my feet off the ground. Minus the crowd thats gonna fill up the seats, I am already this nervous. I can't even walk straight just now. *close eyes* I cannot imagine how this Saturday afternoon is gonna be. It is so freaking scary~~!!! I never thought its gonna be this scary. Can I like, back off now before I suffer from extreme tachycardia?? aahhh...please, people! pray for me, wish me all the best!

my TOEnails

These was how my toenails look like since last month, during the CNY.

But, why only toenails? That's because:
- I don't want to get into any trouble when reporting to medical officers during my posting.
- I don't want to pose any threat or danger of poking the patients
- or 'intoxicating' them with those nail varnish
- or be triggering their hypersensitivity response ( you never know who's allergic to these)
- I don't want to cause any contamination on whatever


I'm almost hopeless when it comes to grooming and beauty but the pedicure done was pretty satisfactory, to me, at least.

"Is that bruises at your toes?" some will remark.

(-__-''') after all my hardwork, they only look like bruises?! oh well, now i feel like banging my head on the wall and get bruises up there instead...

Others will comment, "You painted your toenails? Did you do the pedicure on your own?...bla bla.."

"yeah, hehe.." Alas, at least some still think its ok (and are not bruises). Well, thats worth a few pat on the back. =)

But now, my feet are looking bare and naked again. Thats for now.

I'll put on another coat for them again after maybe one or two days of 'oxygen therapy' and get them all (including the fingernails...its ok now coz i'm done with my posting) ready for the big day. Ermm, but, I have no slightest idea what to put on. Any ideas anyone???

Well, they might all end up simple and plain afterall but it doesn't matter as long as they look presentable enough, if not sexy, on that day. hehe.

Med Camp

Event : Med Camp (Kem Kesihatan)
Place : Rumah Panjang Jinjang (Kwsn A)
Date : 5th March 06
Day : Sunday
Time : 8.30am - 1.00pm

The registration area where the health screening is done.

They even have volunteers to 'babysit' the patient's children, teaching them origami, singing and dancing. Nice n cute, aye?

notice the 'yellow road runner' on the background? hehe... thank God i arrived early and got a near place with nice shed =)

taking dextrostick reading... "jeng, jeng, jeng...here comes the needle!"


And now, for the different expressions during BP taking...

huh?! ermm..?

nice, sweet and warm smile, aunty!
The weather is getting hotter, my hand is getting weaker, ear is getting more deaf and the crowd is getting larger... help!

I'm now an 'expert' in BP measurement! hehe.. even my cutie-little-boy-supervisor approves and agrees..

They made me look so 'dwarfily small n tiny'! But actually, this is what u call an 'optic illusion'. I am NOT short. Enough said.

...and at the end of the day, we all had a great time. Nice experience working with huge bunch of about 100 other volunteers.

reACTIVATED

YeaY !!! finally my streamyx account is re-activated. It was suspended 2 weeks ago but has served for good as well anyway. At least i don't see my sis stuck in front of the computer 24 hrs. hehe. But I'm glad that i can have back my internet access again =)

Verbal spar

For convenience purposes, I've decided to create a new post on this. I copied all the conversations from the chatbox and pasted it here so that all of you may conveniently stay clear of what is actually going on. So, this is the 'verbal spar' that took place:

18th Feb 2006

elainesan:
seriously, i have no respect for sedaya's doc. in d Q, who are just mere student but SNOBBISH. here is a lesson: basic of a doc, going to d lowest. u guys, lazy, proud, stuck-up ass.

who knows the best. ME!! i am a medic student frm local uni. it's difficult. being a doc, difficulties not in studies but to reach out and help poorest of d poor. you ppl, shitty proud.

i will never allow any friends i know to visit your clinic. ever. life of love ones at risk. snobbish med. STUDENT, see how far you can go with that attitude.good luck

19th Feb 2006

Callyn:
what is wrong with elainesan???


Jolyn (me):
Ms/ Mr Elainesan, I'm terribly sry for u to feel tht way. But, may i hav the honour to know who you are/where you are from? Mind if i ask, who or wht hav u encountered, tht gives u such an impression?

I am not denying nor am i agreeing with u. But, IMHO, wil it b too fast for u to judge/ to catalog us ALL to b like tht? i wud b glad if u could help to point out my mistake. I wud certainly accept

& apologise if i'm at fault.To err is human..But frankly,I hv always hv great respect 4this profession&others whos in the same line,regardless wher we r fr& same goes2 u.I hope 2clear any misundrstandg

20th Feb 2006

elainesan:
first of all, sorry to claim ALL of u "like that" but MOST of you are. DUH~~ sedaya is crap. medicine students for STPM below 3.00?? no respect. PROUD ass. lagi no respect. lazy. ugh

and what more. your exam paper is easy piece of shit. a doctor? i beg your pardon. MY profession basic, HUMBLE! dont brag to those NON-doctors.one more, please don't regard me and you as us.

i never brag. you guys, conclusion: got the mouth but brainless bunch.i respect THIS profession with my name. BUT i dont respect YOUR ways of treating this profession. a DISGRACE

i proudly announce i am one of those meek student in UM. my name is as posted-elaine.from KL.do please take note on your attitude.the bossy-ness can even be seen outside w/o opening your braggy mouth.

and what i said applies to 29 of 30 ucsi students. i seen most of you guys. to be a doctor is to provide the BEST service. NOT because of glamour and MONEY. doctors earn little, mind you!

i am in my final year. if i ever come across you guys, trust me! i'll do something to mend that "BIGGEST fractures" of yours.


rosesareblue:
wah!! wad happen??u step on ppl's tail ka??so big conflict. but i thk she has her point and u have urs. no comment. muahz out. peace


Weihan Goh:
elainesan, as much as I see private colleges as taking in students with a little too low a CGPA as a possible timebomb to the future of the profession, unless you can give proof, you achieved nothing.

You have been basing your claims on assertions, without proof nor analysis. If you really think that this what you claim is true, do indeed give us buyable analysis and evidences


Lord Cronus:
To the lame UM medical student with the name Elainesan. In my mind I always had a believe that UM medical students were the cream of the crop of this country, but ...

Now hearing you with this slander without any reasoning shows that how low UM has sunk. I do not know whether this is true but...

From seeing you behaving like this surely reflects back at what UM is teaching you in ethics and morality.

We are medical students here( I doubt it about who you are) are trained to analyse any problem and to present it with reason and evidense. So the next time you choose to insult UCSI medical students.

Do it with reason and proof. If you have any sense of what i just said, u will understand it. If u have problem understanding it.......

21st Feb 2006

rosesareblue:
wahlao....havoc!! let's c wad elainesan has to say. UM w00 La LA~~


dobbs:
Bear in mind anyone can claim to be a final year student from MU or whatever

So take things here said with a pinch of salt pls and hold off the lynch mob!

the MU final years are busy at the moment with upcoming final exams btw


elainesan:
what i said here is just me AND my collegues opinion.final exam or not, people from ucsi MED are helping among themselve. DOCTORS?? bahhh....enough said.

what i comment here, you guys will PROVE it 10 years down the lane. that is IF you can graduate on time. even if you can, sedaya is HELPING OUT since you are their first "baby". hehe...

i am outsider so i may have wrong comment but what about if everything come out from YOUR own lecturers mouth. how shame~~~

there is Opa,mon2 sat..to name a few! oh gosh, i feel so sorry. i even seen your test paper. joker

cronus shit, i am in final year. i anaylze before i open my mouth. evidence is to be shown to the professional NOT "self-acclaimed" pro..

take care. good luck. i don't have time anymore after this to drop by. bye. best regard.

22nd Feb 2006

kelmacho:
I'm enraged with this attack on UCSI medical students. Anyone out there......Remember, we just finished our first year. We don't even have seniors to lead us.

Since elainesan happens to be a senior from UM, u should consider advising us instead of throwing cricticism at us. After all, we all are at the same aim of helping in healing of people.


Weihan Goh:
A few issues here. First, like dobbs said, anyone can pose as a medical student from Universiti Malaya. Therefore, this should be taken at the individual, and not institution level.

Second, while elainesan thinks that UCSI students are collaborating to defend themselves, rest assured that my presence proved this wrong. I'm an undergrad from Nanyang Technological University.

Thirdly, when elainsan bases her flaming posts on opinions, then her credibility is just that. It proves that she is unable to analyze a given opinion and respond based on it rationally.

Fourthly, claims based on what if situations are just not buyable. It's just like saying the Petronas Twin Towers will collapse tomorrow.

Fifth, analysis is just not there, albeit elainsan claims that there was. Trust this NTU debater on this.

Finally, if elainsan's issue is indeed with the quality of education within UCSI, I would welcome her to discuss this in a mature manner at my blog at http://infinite-possibilities.blogspot.com/

And just to make things a little clear, I do not know who the blog author is. I just dropped by here.

----------------------------------------------------

Before I go any further, I would like to thank all of you who have came to share your thoughts and mind.

Basically, I don't know and neither could i recall who Ms.Elaine could be or is and I'm still curious on how she landed here. Not to mention that she knows that I'm a medical student from UCSI. The bottomline is, I am still quite clueless of what that have sent the spark, igniting this conflicting isssue.

When I first saw the message left by elainesan, I was puzzled and stunned. I tried resolving but it has unexpectedly turned out to be the other way round. As for now, please allow me to reply on her previous 2 posts on the 21st and 22nd Feb 2006; and also to express my opinions on this issue. [note: when i'm saying 'you' later, i am referring to Ms.Elainesan]

Again I would like to make it clear that I am not denying nor am I agreeing to what 'you' have presented here.

To quote from what 'you' said:

medicine students for STPM below 3.00?? no respect.

I have to admit that I failed to see from your point that this shows that we have no respect (to this proffesion?). Can we ever measure the level of respect merely using academic credits? IMHO, respect is not something you earned just like that. No doubts, a high achiever of an established, top university could graduate with a nice and neat degree or masters and etc. The respect one gained is for your level of education. In other words, people are more likely to respect your 'perfect-high achiever-degree' than you. Put on a white coat and a stetho, will people respect you? Yes, indeed a lot of people have great respects on doctors. The question is, without that 'identity', will they respect you the same? Is this the true respect that 'you' meant? I think that the true respect one earns for him/herself , regardless of the social strata, is way harder than just achieving grades.

To quote from 'you' again:

i never brag.... i respect THIS profession with my name. BUT i dont respect
YOUR ways of treating this profession. a DISGRACE

If 'you' really a person as what you've said, I'm glad and happy that 'you' are. One of the reasoning I could offer for your rather emotional remarks is that 'you' are a person who is concerned about this medical health line. It is a good thing. However, if expressed with a not so appropriate way, the effect may not be that favourable. Pardon me, I'm not suggesting that 'you' have acted inappropriately. But could there be a better or more constructive way? I see that 'you' and I are differnent and each individual have their own, unique way of expressing and perceiving each matter. So no offence, for I am not here to judge. I noted that 'you' stated that 'you' dont respect my/our ways of treating this proffesion. A disgrace huh? I don't get your point. If you would try to listen, I am telling you again that I do treat not only this proffesion but my medical studies seriously and with respect. And I believe I'm not the only one.

Thanks lots for telling me about this:

...NOT because of glamour and MONEY. doctors earn little, mind you!

Actually, I've already learned about all these. If money and glamour are the factors, I wouldn't be pursuing medicine.

Another thing, I’m not sure if I get 'you'; about 'you' seeing our test paper. FYI, we have weekly formative assessments. As told by my lecturer, those questions in our weekly test goes quite detailed into the topics we were tested on. I personally share the same thought as well. And 'you' mentioned Dr.Opa and Dr.Maung(,I believe so, for this is closest to my lecturer’s name that you mentioned as ‘mon2 sat’ ???) . For our first professional exam (part1) last year, of course they can’t afford to be as detailed as it is in our formative assessments. In addition, it isn’t too necessary to repeat and test us all on the same questions or aspect again. Also, to share what a few doctors have told me before, the exam is not meant to fail us but to test us and see what we know and what don’t we know. Anyhow, I am unsure which paper did 'you' claim you saw but I hope I delivered my points across.

'You' might be thinking that we are helping among ourselves but Weihan Goh and dobbs are not my classmates nor are they my uni-mates. Anyway, I don't know if you'll ever read this but that's about it that I have to say in reply. From all these discussions that have taken place, I've learnt and come into 2 conclusions; we shall all see after 5 or 10 years later and for all that you've said, it gives me a motivation to become better. And to all my fellow mates: I understood that you may not felt too comfortable after reading some of the comments written here but put aside all these and forget about arguing or proving who's right and who's wrong at the mean time. I see this as a 'blessing in disguise' . Take this all and treat it as another challenge for us to strive forward. Try not to take them to heart. I hope that all will share the same view and turn all these into constructive stepping stones, reaching higher up the sky.

everything seems BAD; pure BAD!

I have been having this kind of 'bad feeling' sicne weekend and today, it is my BAD day. I have NO mood for anything at ALL right NOW. And when I'm NOT in a good mood, I find it hard to even fake something from a more optimistic or maybe rational point of view. Accumulation of little things happening now and then have rolled up into a gigantic 'bad-omen-snowball', which came crashing from the hill on ME! Yes! Right on me! I was left lying FLAT on the ground. oOH, nothing much... I'm just halfway embedded in the rocky mantle of this planet.

Talking about today alone is enough. This morning, I started this new day afresh but, in no time, I became like this:












A withered flower.

I decline to elaborate further what I encountered. Yeah, true... my morning didn't went quite well but I made it a challenge for me. I see it as a blessing in disguise; as a motivation for me. Hopefully, I'm determined enough to accomplish it. Anyhow, I am NOT done feeling bad about this YET.

Then comes afternoon. With the burning sunlight piercing through my skin, the heat is not something one could enjoy. It is OK if I'm sheltered in a building or in a car. BUT...

I met with an accident. I was driving. At one of the roundabouts, a WIRA was in front of me in the queue. She moved ahead, and i thought she has already moved away. Thus, when I saw that cars are cleared from my right hand side of the road, I moved on. And that is how the accident happened.

All the discussions going on here and there, under the strong UV wave isn't making the situation any better. And i felt so tanned now. Ish! Anyway, cut the crap...So, I have to pay for all the lady's car fixing expenses. The bumper did not seems to be suffering any serious injury BUT the workshop fella was telling us that he will have to put 2 screws in,then order the paint and spray it. What?! Actually, I think that the car can be perfectly alright without any fixing,ok. Anyway, I shall not argue about that. Just,...whatever!

Feeling all sticky and sweaty throughout the rest of the day, the bug bite on my neck grews even more annoying and irritating. Aargghhh~!!! DOnT feel like talking NOW and please DON't come near me or I might end up biting your head off! Ok,that's not for real of course.

Sigh. I am beginning to feel the signs of a breakdown. I desperately need a break.
Oftenly,the strength form 'above' is best viewed, not by IE nor Firefox, but when we come to realize our own weaknesses.

Learning of our own weakness teaches us to lean on God's strength.

ODB

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, ... My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalm 73:23-26

然 而 ， 我 常 与 你 同 在 ； 你 搀 着 我 的 右 手 。你 要 以 你 的 训 言 引 导 我 ，... 我 的 肉 体 和 我 的 心 肠 衰 残 ； 但 神 是 我 心 里 的 力 量 ， 又 是 我 的 福 分 ， 直 到 永 远 。

詩 篇 73: 23-26

4 scene shots (taken 17/02/06- Fri)

-----------------Scenario 1-----------------

A 71 year old man was sent to the clinic by bypassers who saw him fell off his bike. He came in with tremors, giddiness and feeling cold. He was sent straight to the treatment room since this is an emergency case. The medical officer on duty came and did some phyiscal examination on him.

Temperature: 39 oC , has been febrile for past 2 days
B/P : 160/80
Pulse : 119/min
Dextrose stick reading: 11.1 mmol/l

I assumed that she(the MO) also wrote that CVS and respi.system are ok.

He was then given panadol and was sent outside, in the waiting area, to wait for his son. His respiratory rate seems to be increased and is using quite some amount of effort to breathe. (but then, he may still be traumatised)

The son came and I went to notified the MO. She asked to call him in. How bout the patient? She told me it is not necessary. After a few min, he came out with the drug slip. And what did the doc told him (about the diagnosis)? High fever.

Of course, he was adviced to bring his father to the hospital if anything happens. Medications were collected and they left.

-----------------Scenario 2-----------------

All the staff nurse was called to attend some training thingy by the Kementerian from 2pm to 5pm. Hence, there were no nurses around when we came back after lunch. Only some attendants and nurse assistants were around to help manage the clinic. And yeah, there were only 2 doctors that evening (compared to the normal 6 to 7 doctors).

So, we sat and helped at the BP and D/stick counter.

There were only about 3 patients who really need BP to be taken before seeing the doc but we took total of around 10 patient's people's BP. Funny huh? There could be more but we managed to really say "no" to some of them.

These people came to bring their whoever to see the doc, which means they themselves aren't sick. They just wanted to know their blood pressure and whether they are hypertensive. I kept explaining to these people that we don't diagnose you with hypertension with just one reading. Plus, if your reading differs from the normal average value, there could be other contributing factors. Furthermore, we are not supposed to do so because the system doesn't work this way.

And this is what the attendant told me on how to deal with these people: " If we were to allow one person to do this, the rest will follow as well and at the end, everyone will come. Tell them they would have to pay RM1 to register as a patient and get their card if they want to check their BP. Many will try persuade you, of course. If then, just ask them to pay here instead of at the registar. Some will walk off when asked to pay but some will still pay. So just take the money and check their BP. This will all be collected an will go to a fund."

Did we do that? No, it's kinda 'weird' and 'awkward' for us to do so. We tried explaining to them but they are pretty persuasive. Trust me, they are really insistive.

Aunty:
leng lui, can you help me check whether I'm hypertensive?

Me:
huh? the doc asked to check your BP? (reaching out to take the card from her)

Aunty:
No, i actually came to bring my daughter to see doc. This is my daughter's card, not mine. Please help me lar. I won't tell anyone, this is just gonna be between you and me. I have a card with me so people would not suspect. Come lar, ok ah? help me check, ok? See if i have high blood pressure then i can see doc.

Me:
Aunty, you know that i am not supposed to do this. bla bla bla...explaining to her bout diagnosing HPT and etc etc.

Aunty:
oH...like tht one lar...nevamind lar. you help me check and see lar. No harm done. If its high then i can seek medical advice sooner rite.

Me:
(-__-''') sigh...ok, aunty say if realy ur BP is high today, what are you going to tell the doc? tell that you just got ur BP taken by me and the reading is high?

Aunty:
nolar. I won't see doc today. I'll come back few days later.

Me:
and your complaint will be?

Aunty:
Just tell the doc i'm having headache lar. Coz last time there was once tht my BP went quite high ...bla bla bla... Don't worry, i won't tell anyone that you checked for me.

(then another guy, who is persuading my friend to measure his BP, came interrupting...)

Him:
Just check for us lar. We know you are just students. But it is for the benefit of both of us. You see, you get to practice more and we get to know our BP. Isn't that a good deal?

I can't help but to keep laughing...

Aunty:
Yalar, just help me lar. Others won't know bout this.

We gave in.

-----------------Scenario 3-----------------

It was PSY clinic that afternoon. One of the patient come asking me how many injections will he have to take today. I looked at the medication slip. Firstly, i can't really figure out what was written there. 2ndly, how on earth would i know about PSY drugs? From my rationale, my guess is that there would be 2 injections for him. But of course, I told him I'm not too sure about this and told him to ask the people in charge inside the treatment room. He said it is almost his turn to go in already and he knows they would tell him but he just wanted me to help him out a little now. Again, i told him not that i don't want to help but i really don't know about what exactly this medication slip meant. He looked at me, "you don't know how to read meh? These are all words rite?! I'm just asking you to help by telling me what is written because i don't know how to read, like that also cannot ah?!" He got up and walked off, into the treatment room.

-----------------Scenario 4-----------------

A heat of argument between a doctor and a PSY patient's brother. I'm glad tht they did not end up fighting. phew.

Tags: Scene shots

Feb 14 Public Announcement

"Happy Valentine's Day!"

'ka ching!' Thank You! You are the 123rd person to wish me. NEXT!

On this Valentine's day evening, I wish to make a public announcement. To all of you who are reading: I am NOT celebrating Valentine's. As all of us may understand (,if not I am telling you now), Valentine's is a day for lovers. It is a day where couples and lovers show their love to each other. Since I do not fulfil any of the criteria, you might as well save up your texting money and energy; wish some other people who ARE celebrating today,k?

Don't get me wrong. I am not feeling blue or what. It is just like I'm not an Indian, thus, people don't wish me Happy Deepavali because I don't celebrate that festival. Get the point?

Just for your information (and since I've just found out), Feb 14 is also the Single Awareness Day (SAD) .

Read this (from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) :

Singles Awareness Day (SAD) is a humorous holiday celebrated on February 14. It serves as an alternative to Valentine's Day for people who are single; that is, who are not involved in a romantic relationship and can therefore not participate in Valentine's Day traditions. Some observers of SAD do so out of spite for Valentine's Day as a Hallmark holiday or for other reasons.On Singles Awareness Day single people gather to celebrate or to commiserate in their single status. Some want to remind romantic couples to remember those less fortunate than they are. A common greeting on this day by its adherents is "Happy SAD!"
The holiday is a good example of self-deprecating humor.

V-Day or SAD , Feb 14 to me is just the same as any other days. I don't mind chocolates, flowers, balloons or any gifts from you though. Similarly, I may not be an Indian but I still take 'muruku'. So, buy it, give it to me and I shall take it with no hesitation.

Anyway, to all those love birds out there, Happy Valentine's Day! And to all the carefree singles, Happy SAD!

Tags: Love

Everyone is talking about it...

Ok, after the previous two random crap post, I'm going into something more serious and heavier. What else? Nothing but the current heat topic; about the caricactures published by the Danish newspaper and also the issues on Sarawak Tribune.

I've personally came across quite a handful of cartoons, caricactures and even movies or shows that make fun of Jesus Christ. I believed there is a lot more published or displayed out there that are offensive not only to Christianity alone but also to our Christ. I am not going to put up any examples here. You can easily get lots of it with a single click on the net.

I am a Christian. US, Britain, Australia,and New Zealand are all Christian countries, and that is only just to name a few. Look at Hollywood, it still seems to stand as grand as ever. I don't recall any 'earth-quaking' news on embassies or flags set on fire because of this. Enlighten me if there is and pardon me if I am wrong because I'm not a knowledgeable person nor am I widely exposed or updated about current issues.

Does that mean we don't care? Does that mean it did not bother me? Does that mean we are allowing it? And are we keeping ourself quiet about all these? No.

The question here is: "Are all these necessary?"

I understand that we are educated that this is a sensitive issue and we must treat it with respect. No objections on that. But, why not take some time, quiet down and DON'T just act on emotions alone? Think about it more objectively. Is there really no better way out? Is damage and pain a must to deliver the message across?

I don't usually talk about all these BIG, heavy issues and especially if it involves politics. This post was inspired after reading the food for thought from kennysia.com and looking at these. Just like what the tittle says, "What's with the commotion?"

Tags: Current Issues

ATM machine

came across this cartoon in today's The Star newspaper

Another good example I've encountered would be "KDU college". When I was studying there, I've always thought it is rather weird; KDU actually stands for Kolej Damansara Utama and yet we often call it KDU college. This college is even registered under the name KDU College Sdn. Bhd. Why huh?

Tags: Random

So, a Pisces I am.

I've got another email from Cosine. He has always been forwarding large sized crappy emails which would only fit into my yahoo mailbox and this is what he forwarded today...

"The top 10 reasons you are..."

So a Pisces I am. Before going any further, let me clarify that I don't believe in horoscope ( I believe in God) and all these is just for the fun of it =)

Ok...lets see:

10. I DO throw things away. Sometimes, something, I may keep. But, not all. It may take time but eventually I WILL throw it away when I really have to. Hmm...does that makes me 'less Pisces?'

9. Really? You are giving me a motto?!? Well, it doesn't sound too bad actually, don't you think so?

8. You call me a recluse??! OK, i feel like being one now. Throat is soaring. Nose is blocked. Watery eyes. Mucus dripping. And I don't feel like talking.

7. Do I?

6. Hope I am. haha.

5. Am I?

4. Huh? What?

3. Thinking kill brain cells so just use your eyes. Look before you leap.

2. I am overwhelmed now.

1. Duh-uh? So I am a Pisces afterall, huh?

Tags: Random craps

Episodic-Imsomnia-Attack

I flipped over and looked at my alarm clock.It is 10 minutes past 5 in the morning. What am I doing at this ungodly hours? Perhaps I should rephrase it; what am I NOT doing at this time? S-L-E-E-P-I-N-G!!! For goodness sake, it is already 5am and I'm still NOT asleep? Gosh! I really feel like banging my head on the wall.

About 20 minutes later, my grandmother got up from her bed and began to utter her morning prayers. I laid back silently and listened to her sweet prayers. When she is done, I tilted my head up a little, "Ah mah! I can't sleep. Now that you are already awake but I've not gotten any sleep yet."

My 'episodic-imsomnia-attack' (EIA) is now at the worst point. I don't fall asleep as easy as other people but it is OK as long as I DO slumber into the dreamland. Sleeping seems a lot tougher when EIA comes haunting me again. No matter how tired or how desperate I need to catch some sleep, I still can't sleep until what may seems a thousand flip-flops over the bed.

So, I got up. Well, something to be thankful for behind this sleepless night; for the 1st time this year i woke up this early without any alarms bugging and I had my part of nice and earliest devotion n quiet time with God. At about 6.45 am, I sneaked into my parent's room and scared the living daylights out of my them woke them up to go for a healthy morning walk.

And alas, I took about an hour nap before being called for lunch. Thats it! I really hope that I can have a nice, beauty and early sleep tonight. I have to wake up early and have the entire day to work on; I'm starting my posting at the community clinic tomorrow. I don't know what awaits me tomorrow but it better NOT be boring. Or else, EIA + boredom = torture.

Jebbrine told me that her experience during her last sem was boring. They pretty much did nothing besides sitting there and sitting there and stitting there. Sad huh? I really hope things will be different for us.

Jeevan told me that when they are starting on the 6th their first task will be venepuncture. *blink*blink I don't know if they are really going to do it, but, it will be rather a great experience and exposure.

As I've said, I don't know what awaits me tomorrow but I am praying for the best and I'm anticipating it!

CAUTION: Ammonic firecrackers

Every Chinese New Year the 'chee-ba-boom' and crackling sound will never fail to add some spice to this festive season, making it merrier but noisier noisier but merrier. Despite all the "On-the-spot RM100 fine" , "Anti-firecracker squads" , and some firecrackers seized here, here , there and almost everywhere , nonetheless, there are still some that managed to smuggle those stuffs in and out. Well, that is how we celebrate Chinese New Year...can't go without 'it',can we?

crackle...crackle...crackle...pOp! And the final firecracker exploded giving off some pale-yellowish green flame, as the ammonia reacted with oxygen (again) in the combustion process. Here is the equation for the chemical reaction that just took place yesterday night:

Ammonia: Hello! Gong Xi Fa Chai!

Oxygen: Hie! Happy Chinese New Year!

(and if you wish that I'll have a HAPPY cny as well, just please leave me alone...)

Ammonia: Hehe. I've finally got through. I've been trying to call you for the past few days but never got through. What happened ah?

Oxygen: huh? Really? I don't know wor...

(I think God forbiddens it)

Ammonia: Oh, nevermind

( YES, you are right! I really don't mind)

Ammonia: You are at home now?

Oxygen: Yeah..

(gulp..*sweating)

Ammonia: Ooh...When are you going back to
college?

Oxygen: erm... (do I really have to answer this?) June.

Ammonia: Oh, you are on a sem break now,huh? That's quite long.

Oxygen: Hehe. Yeah, BUT I'll be starting my posting on the 3rd. It is something similar to what you guys termed as industrial training.

Ammonia: Oh...training. Where ah?

Oxygen: Its in Jinjang.

Ammonia: Whereabout in Jinjang?

Oxygen: (must I tell you? I have a bad feeling here..) Its in a clinic somewhere in Jinjang.

Ammonia: Which clinic?

( What?! Isn't that info enough?)

Oxygen: ....ermm.....uh...( Can you sense that I am really hesitating to tell you this?) Klinik Kesihatan Jinjang.

Ammonia: I see. Today is 30th Jan....(counting)...So, 4 more days before your posting starts?

Oxygen: erm..yup.

Ammonia: Will you be free tomorrow? Can I come to your house?
(I knew it! *RED FLAG* Hazards ahead!)

Oxygen: Oh, my uncle invited my family and I over to his place for a meal.

Ammonia: Lunch or dinner?

Oxygen: ermm....I'm not too sure actually. Will have to ask my parents about it.
[1st lie: It's dinner actually but sorry... I really don't have the guts to tell you]

Ammonia: Like that ah...how about Thursday?

Oxygen: (ok..think of something...QUICK!) Thursday?..hmm...the 2nd of
Feb rite? Ah! I'm going out with my friends. (phew!) [2nd lie]

Ammonia: With one big group of friends?

Oxygen: Yup. With one big group of my friends.

Ammonia: Who ah?

Oxygen: With my freinds from college. ( do you want me to list down their names and contacts as well?)

Ammonia: I want to join.

( NO!)

Oxygen: hehe... ( thats the best response i can give,ok?! It means NO. A big No-NO!)

silence...

Ammonia: erm..ok..how about this Friday?

Oxygen: Friday? (oh no! what am I gonna say now?) uh...what date is it? Hey, its the 3rd isn't it? My posting is starting on that day. (hooray!)

Ammonia: Aiyah...like that hah...eh, I'll call you again tomorrow. So if you are having your lunch with your uncle and finished early, I'll come over to your place.

Oxygen: (-__-) oK (sigh)

Ammonia: Or worse come to worse, I come and visit you and 'pai nian' in the clinic. Its not too far anyway.

Oxygen: hehe..? (*cold sweat..i mean BIG cold sweat...That is really the worst
that can happen. Its a clinic,ok?! NOt my house lar~! And I'm no-one but a student doing her posting there. Please keep 'trouble' far far away
from me.)

Ammonia: Alrite, so bye for now. I'll give you a call tomorrow.

Oxygen: Bye

About 15 hours later, at approximately 2.30pm...

My sis: Jie (it means sister in chinese), your handphone is ringing.

Me: (arrghh..it must be him) oK

walking slowly...(wait! was I even walking to get the phone anyway?) By the way, I was just sending my aunt off that time.

I may walk very slowly BUT my good sister actually came running to me with my handphone. *slap forehead

I reached my hand out at the speed of how an arthritis patient would move, hoping badly that it will be a miss call. I got the phone. And it is STILL ringing! For goodness sake, please STOP ringing. And..wow! It stopped. YeaY! It is a miss call now. Better switch to silent mode now because I know he is a person with great persistence.

Just as I switched to silent mode, he called again. I really don't feel like dealing with this again...and I shall not. I put it in my pocket and started clearing the packet drinks off the living room's marble table.

The vibration stopped. Good! Just as I'm starting to feel a bit relieved, the phone starts vibrating again, with the same caller's name displayed. AAAAAAaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh~!!! Do you know that you are making me to feel really bad?!

And...another explosion occured:

Ammonia: Hi!

Oxygen: HeLlo.

Ammonia: So, you done with your lunch
at your uncle's place?

(since when did i tell you it was a lunch?)

Oxygen: Oh, it is actually dinner. Not lunch.

Ammonia: I see. So you are at home now? Can I come over now ah?

(hold it..hold it...chill out..don't go so fast,Mr. Take things slow & easy,k )

Oxygen: err..I'm going out NOW lar. I'm going out with my aunt. She just came from Johor.
( Oops! Those words just shoot out of my mouth like bullets, without confirming the validity)

Ammonia: going out for a long time?

Oxygen: I don't know but after that I'll have to travel to my uncle's place anyway.

Ammonia: aiyah..like that ah?...I shouldn't have slept till this late.
(no, please don't say so. You'll need all those beauty sleep. Its good for you. Do sleep more.)

Oxygen: hehe..?

Ammonia: well, ok then...happy chinese new year!
(no more ammonic-firecrackers and i'll be happy and grateful for the whole chinese new year)

Oxygen: happy chinese new year to you too! bye!

After the call, I really did go out, not with my aunt but with my family. Ok, so back to the firecrackers issue...

My advice to all of you out there:

Stay out from those explosive items, especially those firecrackers containing ammonia if you don't want to breath in terrible, pungent air. It is evil! It costs you a few lies and it is definitely hazardous. It is a life-threatening item, trust me! The government ban it for a reason and I have all the reasons you can see. So, stay away from 'it' !