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I went to a bookstore to browse around (well, actually the condition doesnt really allow us to do so). Anyway, the first person attended me was recommending this book A, telling me that most people buy this book and it is useful for your future use as well. Some people came in and he went to attend them. I flipped the pages, and was thinking maybe I would take book B instead. I asked another staff what level would this book suitable for. He looked blur but i can see that he is trying hard to crap something out. I waited...(and yes??)

"erm...this is for first year students."

He gave me another book - book C, telling me that this is what most people buy, its a better book, blah blah... and that book B is for Master...blah blah

But, wait!...didnt the first guy just said that book A is what most people take and now this human here is telling me another thing.

I browsed the content of the book and asked him if he thinks that book B is in simpler context and easier to understand compared to the others. He agreed. ( see..isn't that contradicting? a book meant for Master level is supposed to be easier to understand than other books?)

Anyway, cut the story short... i bought some books and went home after that. I was looking through the books and found that one of the books was torn... yes! some of the pages were quite badly torn with some dirty stains and holes. Of course, it would be good if i can go change the book because it is a new book...or supposed to be a new book... and who would have expected it to be in such condition. I called them up and asked if they are open tomorrow and that can i return the book.

" oh, is it the red colour book?"
" yes and the pages are torn"
" really? tapi buku itu memang koyak punya"
( what?!! is this the best reply you can give? does that mean you know you are selling me that torn book?)
" hah?! tapi dalam buku ini banyak koyak tau"
( ooppss..please excuse my BM, havent been using malay to communicate..hehe)
"ok ok..you datang dan tukar buku itu,ok"
( thats exactly what i'm planning to do )
"ok..thank you" (!!!)

se7en thingsz

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ok..so, I have been tagged...Callyn, my mind is not working well either. Anyway, i juz 'hentam' the answers...and here are the:
SeVeN tHiNgSz

1.Se7en things that (will) scare me:
a) death of loved ones
b) uncertainty
c) dissapointment
d) sin
e) disaster & war
f) sex maniac/ sex offenders
g) ghost

2.Se7en things I like the most:
a) company - family & friends
b) sleep
c) food
d) bible , magazines & books
e) music
f) taking pictures
g) writting

3. Se7en most important things in my room : hostel room?
a) fan (with electric supply of coz!)
b) light
c) bed
d) mirror
e) laptop & internet connection
f) water bottles (with water in it)
g) alarm clockS
(oh yeah..books are important as well..its expensive too..)

4.Se7en random facts about me:
a) I am naughty
b) I'm not smart
c) I'm lazy
d) I'm not in a relationship/ I'm still single
e) I am a Christian
f) I can scream
g) I am a right-hander

5.Se7en things I plan to do before I die
a) tell my loved ones i love them
b) tell ppl God loves them too
c) to find someone who will truly love me & give my purest love to him
d) to get married & have a happy family
e) graduate & become a recognised doctor
f) travel the world
g) to learn chinese & music

6.Se7en things I can do:
a) eat
b) sleep
c) talk
d) be quiet
e) speak fu chow
f) drive ( YES, i can)
g) learn

7.Se7en things I can't do:
a) swim
b) sing soprano
c) read chinese books
d) read guys mind
e) live without oxygen
f) drink coffee & sleep
g) shop like a millionaire

8.Se7en words I say the most:
a) ermm...
b) dunno
c) dear God
d) oh no
e) i've put on weight
f) wei...
g) ...

9.Se7en celeb crushes:
- no, i dont hav any celebrity crush-

10.Se7en people I'll love to see doing this:
a) Pao Pao
b) Xiu Hui
c) Stella
d) Khai Yang
e) Lenny
f) T'ng Eine
g) Christopher

Birthday threat

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This is not rated "U". I strictly warned you not to continue reading if you don't think you can take mean and cruel stuff.

I went to the clinic and the doctor's advice was to have sufficient rest especially if i might have a chance of re-exposure to ammonia again. Well, fine ...because i usually have one week of good rest before i will be tested positive for ammonia toxification again.

Please pardon me, not that i like to talk about ammonia but it is just barely 3 days... and...and...and...argghh...here's what has just happened...

oxygen's random thoughts:
blink*blink*...staring widely at the screen & yes..no doubts, it is ammonia calling..

ok...its still weekdays and ammonia should know well that i'm still in hostel and i'm not back home yet. Well, he won't be anywhere near here, would he? nah..i'm just thinking too much.

here goes...

Ammonia: hello!

Oxygen: hello. ( heart beat: 110/min ; respiratory rate: 25/min; B/P: 150/90; ..praying and keeping fingers cross that i will make it through this time safely. please, pretty please...)

Ammonia: Hi! ermm..where are you now? hostel is it?

Oxygen: Yeah...why? ( No! no! please don't tell me you are here or anywhere near here.)

Ammonia: hmm..are you coming back tomorrow?

( phew...thank God! I was just thinking too much,wasn't I?..hehe..silly me..)
Oxygen: tomorrow? no, i don't think so. why would i suddenly go back tomorrow?

Ammonia: well, are you not having any holiday tomorrow or wednesday?

Oxygen: ( puzzled...) holiday? why suddenly would i have holiday?

Ammonia: if you have holiday then you can come back tomorrow rite?

Oxygen: huh???

Ammonia: actually, tomorrow is my birthday and i want to buy you a meal.

Oxygen: oh, its your birthday?...erm, but i don't think its quite possible for me to go back coz i still have classes and i don't have any holidays. ( no... not just because it is your birthday, there would be holiday,ok?!)

Ammonia: you really cannot come back meh?

Oxygen: sorry...but you see if i do go back, how do i come back? i still have classes on wed's morning. really sorry yeah...

Ammonia: i was thinking coz it is my 21st birthday...and you really can't make it for my sake? ( whoa..i know that it is sort of like a big day for you but ...go back for your sake?? my doctor will have to put me on a pressure chamber and treat me with pure oxygen then...)

Oxygen: erm..sorry. you go treat other friends lar.

Ammonia: yeah,ok...but i want to bring u along as well. (how nice of u but really, it is ok)

Oxygen: but i don't think i can make it leh...

Ammonia: well, then arent you gonna do anything in compensation?

Oxygen: huh?...erm, like how??

Ammonia: like making yourself one of these days...
( is this some kind of birthday threat?)

Oxygen: well, i really don't know. even during the deepavali & puasa holiday i might be off to a church camp and then after the holidays i will have tests and plus i have a major exam coming up on december.

Ammonia: hmm..u are so busy huh?

Oxygen: yeah, i do feel busy and tired with such a busy schedule.

Ammonia: exam...on december but its just october now.

Oxygen: its november soon rite? and it is a major exam.

Ammonia: ermm..ok... ( i guess he did sound a bit dissapointed...gosh, am i being too cruel?)

Oxygen: sorry yeah. anyway, i wish u a be-earlied birthday wish and hope u will have a great time tomorrow.

Ammonia: haha..thank you. Bye.

Oxygen: Bye.

oxygen random thoughts:
now thinking back, its his 21st birthday... well, not that i don't want to be nice to him but... is he just a bit demanding? should i really just do some compensatory thing or should i not? not only that i'm being toxified but its begining to make me feel that i'm evil... hmm.. or did he practiced witch-craft or some brain washing thingy?

I meant no harm or any bad intention but i felt the necessity to share out my fear. Yes, your vision is completely fine. FEAR is the word. And i would be glad and appreciative if you have any good or constructive ideas or comments on this.

Ammonia ATTACK

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It was a peaceful & relaxing friday night yesterday but some unforseen events do happen once in a while, when you are least expecting it. Below is the conversation between ammonia & oxygen:

Ammonia: Hi!Oxygen ah?

(with a very soft,tired voice...)
Oxygen: Hello.

Ammonia: Its me,Ammonia.

(using the same monotanous tone...)
Oxygen: Yeah. Whats up?

Ammonia: Oh..you just woke up is it? or did you just came back from MV? (no..its because of your ammonia toxic effect)

[some backgrond/ history: the previous ammonia attack was put off when oxygen said that it has been a tiring day after spending the whole afternoon in MV]

Oxygen: Nope. Just came back from school not long ago.

Ammonia: so late huh? how come?

Oxygen: yeah. well, my timetable is arranged like this. Class ended late and that is why i am back late.

Ammonia: i see..does your class always end so late?

Oxygen: it depends. (don't worry, if my class does ends early, u would be the very last to know about this )

Ammonia: Uh..ok..erm..are you free now?

Oxygen: Now? I have to go for dinner.

Ammonia: Oh yeah..you haven't eat,huh? Erm..what time will you be free then? ( duh..of coz i have not eaten. that is why i am going for dinner.)

Oxygen: well, i don't know. Why?

Ammonia: Oh, it has been a long time since i last saw you. Don't know how you have changed and how you look like right now...thinner? fatter?... Just want to catch up with you. So, what time will you be free tonight? (it's ok.i don't want to catch up with you)

Oxygen: haha..fatter, yeah.. but i think there's not much changes. anyway, i don't know what time will i be free coz i've got something to do after dinner.

Ammonia: something to do? (yes. anything but to go out with u)

Oxygen: yeah, helping my mom.

Ammonia: you mean like sweeping, mopping etc?

Oxygen: yeah... and i don't know what time will i be free.

Ammonia: you don't know when you'll be free?

Oxygen: yes.

Ammonia: ...ermm,ok. i guess next time then. (gulp...next time?! again?! HELP!!!)

Oxygen: uh..ok (very reluctantly)
[ you won't understand how heavy it is to say "ok" in reply.]

Ammonia: bye. (finally...)

Oxygen: bye. (phew...fresh air for detoxification.Thank God!)

- End of conversation-

Please take note: "end of conversation" ≠ end of attack

I do apologize for some very sarcastic thoughts posted above... but,please be understanding; its ammonia & its very toxicative!

A picture's worth a thousand words

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The phrase goes like this:
"A picture's worth a thousand words" ... and i guess i have delivered at least 2 thousand words across...or if literally translated, it would be 20 thousand words said.

Anyway, i will have to get back and catch up with my studies now. Thats all for updates and enough said for today. =)


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A dear teacher of mine once told me that in a BGR (boy-girl relationship), love can bring you all the happiness,joy and sweetness you'll never expect, tossing you on to cloud nine... BUT... at the same time, love can also give you unexpected dissapointments and hurting you to the depth, far beyond the Black Hole can bring.

Another same concept shared:
There's a mammalian species on earth called "Guys". They own a property called mouth. I don't know how important is this asset to them but I can sure tell you that they can use it very differently. They can have all the 'sweet talks' pouring out from their mouth, with scripts better than the Hollywood film director, trying to leave you in a hyperglyceamic state...BUT... at the same time, never forget to realize the other side of it... words coming out can also be shooting at you from every single possible direction, well, probably even to the point that sort of like 'degrading' you to the very end of the earth (and thus, enhancing their feeling of superiority i guess).

Well, enough said for the time being. Time for a good shower and continue with my studies and revisions.

The tension of opposites & chasing after wind

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Today, Morrie told me something interesting. He talked about the tension of opposites :

‘‘Life is a series of pulls — back and forth. You want to do one thing, but are bound to do something else. Something hurts you and yet you know it shouldn’t. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.
A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle.’’
"Sounds like a wrestling match,I say.
"A wrestling match."He laughs. " Yes you could describe life that way."
"Which side wins?" "Love wins. Love always wins."

Interesting? Well,at least i find it interesting. "Most of us live somewhere in the middle... where? why? " I would ask myself. Though i have not come out with an answer, it is still worthwhile reflecting upon...

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."
[excerpted fr Tuesdays with Morrie]

..chasing the wrong things. This reminds me of a passage from the book of Ecclesiastes (傳 道 書):- everything is meaningless, just like a chasing after wind.

"Meaningless! Meaningless!"
says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless."

...This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

传 道 者 说 : 虚 空 的 虚 空 , 虚 空 的 虚 空 , 凡 事 都 是 虚 空 。
... 这 也 是 虚 空 , 也 是 捕 风 。

9 Be happy, young man, while you are young,
and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth.
Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see,
but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment.
10 So then, banish anxiety from your heart
and cast off the troubles of your body,
for youth and vigor are meaningless.
Remember your Creator in the days of your youth,
before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say,
"I find no pleasure in them"-

9 少 年 人 哪 , 你 在 幼 年 时 当 快 乐 。 在 幼 年 的 日 子 , 使 你 的 心 欢 畅 , 行 你 心 所 愿 行 的 , 看 你 眼 所 爱 看 的 ; 却 要 知 道 , 为 这 一 切 的 事 ,   神 必 审 问 你 。
10 所 以 , 你 当 从 心 中 除 掉 愁 烦 , 从 肉 体 克 去 邪 恶 ; 因 为 一 生 的 开 端 和 幼 年 之 时 , 都 是 虚 空 的 。
你 趁 着 年 幼 、 衰 败 的 日 子 尚 未 来 到 , 就 是 你 所 说 , 我 毫 无 喜 乐 的 那 些 年 日 未 曾 临 近 之 先 , 当 记 念 造 你 的 主 。

What is important in life? and..are we chasing the right things in our life? or is it just a chasing after wind?