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I am glad that it has come to an end.
*taking a breath of relief* :)

I am a snail

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Ortho & me

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Manado - Day 2

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The streets in Manado are exceptionally quiet on Sunday morning as most of the people there would have gone to church service or mass. Perhaps in addition to that, it is also the long weekend Hari Raya Aidilfitri (or Idulfitri) holidays. So, it was a quiet morning.

After having our complimentary breakfast buffet in the hotel, we walked down the Sudirman Road (Jl. Sudirman) to Plaza Marina to ask for boat transfer service to Bunaken island. There are 2 ports where boats leave to Bunaken island from Manado which is at Plaza Marina and Pasar Bersahati. Plaza Marina was just about 15 minutes walk from Travello Hotel. After attempting to negotiate a reasonable price, we decided that we should head to the other port instead. Public boats usually leave from Pasar Bersahati.

We took a mikrolet (the blue minivan bus) written "Wonasa" near the roundabout to Pasar Bersahati, which I believe is the main port. A ride in the mikrolet cost only Rp 2,000 (around RM0.70) per person.

You will know you are there when you see...

... a lot of boats and ships.

On normal days, there will be public boats available, which is way cheaper, but it was the first day of the Raya holidays and we have no option but to charter a boat to Bunaken. One can get to Bunaken with only Rp 7,500 to Rp 10,000 if those ferry like public boats are operating. Anyway, we chartered a boat for Rp 400, 000 for a return ride.

Our boat, the smaller one with one engine.

The ride was smooth but slow. It took us about half and hour or more to reach.

Bunaken! :)

The water was clear but the beach was not clean. As we enter the island, we have to pay 'entrance fee' of Rp 50, 000 per day or Rp 150, 000 for a whole year calendar pass. The payment can be made through your resort. If you are an Indonesian, you pay very much less (but I could not recall how much was it already).

Since this is the National Park of Bunaken, the fees are for the purpose of conserving/ preserving the sea, corals, reefs, etc.

There were a lot of tourists around and many of the accomodations were full. We managed to get a place called Froggies, which I have made a reservation earlier online.

There were a lot of frogs in Froggies.

It was a small resort. Initially we thought of staying in Bastianos, Froggie's neighbour, which is bigger and looks nicer (from the outside) but they were already full house. Nevertheless, Froggies was a decent, cosy, little resort.
Their rooms are in atap-house-'bungallows' like this:

which sits on the hill of forest. You'll need to do some climbing too, but it is a cooling place to stay especially at night. Plus, there is free natural fauna orchestra playing in the background.

We stayed in the biggest bungalow on the top which has 2 rooms and a living room (which was not really essential for us). This cost us 30 EURO per person per night, inclusive of breakfast, dinner and drinks, which means as a whole, we paid a total of 120 EURO (RM 600)! A 2 person bungalow without sitting room is 5 EUR cheaper per person per night, which could save us a big chunk of RM 100. But it was all occupied :(

Our bungalow, the Clown Fish.

Honestly speaking, I have no complaints on the resort. Place was okay, people were nice, food were nice but the price is just unbelievably, chockingly, slaughteringly expensive!

Not only this particular resort but the island. We were in Indonesia using Rupiahs, and suddenly in Bunaken, everything was in Euro. No doubt you can pay in Rp but all the charges were too crazily expensive. For 'angmohs' maybe okay but I'm just an Asian student. This was the most expensive island I have been to. If I were to go back to Manado again, I will not stay in Bunaken. I would rather make a trip, do the snorkelling or diving and head back to stay in Manado instead. That one night stay really burnt a humongous hole in my pocket.
Putting that issue aside,... the bungalow we stayed was alright. The view was good as it is a seaview.

They also have a variety of books for you to read. I wanted to read Tony Parson's Starting Over but did not really have the time to do so as it was a short one night stay.

Food were really good. It was nice and tasty. During lunch, we had this corn fritters called "perkedel milu" which is one of the must try if you go to Mandano. Lunch is inclusive if you are doing snorkelling or diving with the resort. Oh! They serve desserts during dinner too. We had chocolate brownies. Yum! :)

Meals are served in that long table.

There were also local live band playing while we were having our dinner. They were all workers of the resort.

What did we do over there? Basically, we arrived in the afternoon, had lunch, went to snorkelling/ diving, came back, bathed and rested, had dinner, met and chatted with a French couple who sat beside us, went back to bungalow, chatted a while, went to bed and sleep. We left Bunaken the next day, after having breakfast.

At first we wanted to do the Discover Scuba Diving course (half day course) but the resorts that offer this course were pack and full. So, we did snorkelling instead except the one who had the license to dive. We went to this diving spot called Fukui, which apparently has giant clams sitting 20 metres underneath. Snorkelling was nevertheless great. I saw a lot of fishes and corals. Sometimes those corals are so freaking near and that makes me swim panickly over to a deeper area. It is always amazing to look under the sea. Looking under the sea is like looking into a totally different world. I should have gotten a underwater camera! sigh.

I would love to float there and snorkel all day long and enjoy the wonders of this underwater world but there were too many 'things' biting me. I have no idea what on earth was it. We were all bitten but I am the most severely bitten, maybe because the other 2 snorkellers went up first and I don't have a wet suit. :S

The locals said it was the little jellyfish but my friend said it was the sea 'bacteria'. I don't know. I just know it was painful and itchy. :( But it was just for a short while. I was fine after napping and have forgotten all about it.haha

Next stop: Tomohon-Tondano

I have flat bottom?!

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If I have had a nice bodyline, I would be doing some modelling already. I wished.

I know I have no perfect figure. But what exactly is my figure type? Knowing your body better helps you to dress better if not less wrong, right? Perhaps some more proffesional assessment is better than relying just on people's comment. Don't you think so?

Yeah. People talk. People teased. Put in another way, people comment. You know those different type of pelvis we learn in O & G (Obstetrics & Gynaecology). Apparently, from their observation I am labelled as the platypelloid pelvis. Mean, right?!

To be honest, they weren't the first 'commentors'. Mom used to tell me that when she was buying clothes for me during my teens. Something more insulting was this incidence which happened like about 2 years ago. I was lying prone on the bed. My grandmother slapped (the old people kind of 'sayang' slap la) my buttocks and commented on my body part as she walked pass me. There was this infant in my family which my grandmother used to compare my butts with. Her exact words were, "Even the baby's butt is bigger than yours", and she giggled away. -.-"'

Anyway, back to the figure type assessment thingy. I was reading this 'online women magazine' and I came across this article on "Are You Dressing Right for Your Figure Type?". So, I took the quiz and this was the result:

Broad Top & Narrow Bottom

Characteristics of Your Body Type:

You have a small to medium build, with shoulders that are broader than your hips. Your bustline is average to full and your waist is short and straight. You have hips that are narrow and boyish, a flat bottom and very slender legs.

Well, this is not to prove others right about my bottom but to say that I have so many inputs sewn on me regarding my hip/ pelvis/ buttocks that I spontaneously clicked on that I have a flat buttocks! -.-"'

Manado - 1st night

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I am quite sure not many among your social circle that you personally knows has been to the Sulawesi. I know because I have friends who have been to places like Singapore, Thailand, Cambodia, Australia, US, UK and Taiwan but none of those I knew been to the Sulawesi island of Indonesia. If it was not because of AirAsia, I would not have imagined being in the North Sulawesi.

So, I've been travelling to Indonesia for my 3rd time now. My destination this time: Manado. Honestly, before booking the "0 fare" flights during AirAsia's free seats promo, I never even knew there is a place called 'Manado'. We managed to get the free seats return ticket to Manado during Raya season. Back at my mind, I was thinking "of course can get free seats during the peak Raya season la, dunno what place is it also". And obviously, it wasn't even on my travel list at the moment. But, the RM70 (all in) for a return ticket worth of almost 4 hours flight was the biggest consolation. Even if I can get that price for my 50 mins flight from KL-KT it will be a good deal already. Now that I've got the flight tickets, I need to know where exactly am I heading to. I did days of research and travel tips on this place and...

...I landed safely in Sam Ratulangi International Airport, Manado about 8pm (Manado time/Malaysia time, which is same!). As it was dark and we were all tired and hungry, we took a taxi to the town with the offer of 70 000 Rp. The taxi fare from the airport to the town is almost that price but one good thing is that they run on meters actually. As it was the holiday (Raya) eve, the roads were packed and the traffic was bad. We stopped by a few hotels and finally decided in this Travello Hotel in Jl. Sudirman.

It was the the most luxurious looking hotel I've ever stayed in Indonesia. My trips have been more like a backpacker's kind of travelling but this time there were more people travelling so, yeay! I totally love staying here. It was really nice and comfy.

They even have this white towel made into a flower placed on your bed, which I just wish to keep it there untouch, as it is. (It makes you see many "stars" in this hotel, if you get what I mean, hehe...)

And there is even a LCD screen TV attached to the wall. It looks so perfect that it makes you just want to lie down on your comfy bed, snuggled under the blanket, with the remote control by your side and just watch TV for the whole Manado trip.

After placing our bags/ luggages, we went to this row of 'warung' behind the Mega Mall for food. There are quite a number of stalls along the street.

Being in Manado, we have to eat fish, especially ikan bakar. And we took 6 fishes for our dinner. I don't know much about fishes but I knew we had a rabbit fish, one "7-star pan" (literally translated from cantonese), and 4 kampung fish. All 'bakar' (ikan bakar). That is because they only know how to 'bakar'. Ikan bakar is one of their famous local food and it was good. They have this chilli called dabu-dabu which is really spicy for me but my friends just love it. But, it was nice! No doubt about it. Nice meal and all for about 190 000 Rp (about RM70). If you were in Manado, should really come and try one of the 'warung' behind Mega Mall.

Our dinner.

'Cone shaped rice'

Alpokat (or Alfokat?) juice.

This is one of their nice local fruit drinks. A must try if you love milk and chocolate!

Thats all for my first night in Manado :)

Next stop: Bunaken island

Buying time

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Doctors buy time. Put aside the fact that doctors save life, we, in the medical line actually learn to buy time most of the time.

We give tocolytics to those pregnant mothers with premature contractions, hoping to buy at least 48 hours after the last steroid injection, before the baby rushes to see the world with very immature lungs.

We give regular blood transfusions for thallasemic patients to give them time. It is not a cure but this at least buy them time. It will be far too tragic to have your baby dead within the first year of life. That is why we buy as much time as we could, to prolong the time, to prolong life.

Victims of motor vehicle accident who came in with low GCS score, polytrauma, that you may not even know if he or she survives tomorrow, is resusitated, intubated and on mechanical ventilation. He or she may be dead few hours following the initial insult but we still do whatever we can, at our level best, to keep the victim alive as long as possible. Time bought may not be long but at least some of the loved ones may make it to the bedside before the last breath.

Patient came in with advanced breast carcinoma came in with metastasis to liver and bone. We still offer chemotherapy, hoping it will shrink the tumor enough and to proceed with toilet mastectomy. Not to offer cure, but this is what we called palliative. Perhaps giving more quality time to patients than they thought they initially would have helps them (not only patient, but also relatives and firends) to learn about the illness and to gradually learn that this is actually terminal. And perhaps, some would have less regrets with the borrowed time.

A cure is not something that can be offered always, but we try; we try to buy time, all the time. Life and mortality are in our phases all the time. Time is perhaps all we need, before we are ready.


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I couldn't really remember when was the last time I really sat down and blog. It has been a while.

It has been about 4 years now and my commitment to blogging and writting has obviously shrunk. The enticement of being heard has been greatly outweighed by the loss of privacy. As contradicting as this may sound, this has indeed held me from the pen (key)board.

One of the most enjoyable part of blogging is being heard. As time goes by, more people I know personally reads and my choice of blogging material has gradually became more restricted. Not because I want to "kutuk" (backstab) anyone or anything but merely because I care (perhaps too much) about what others may think if I write this and what if I write that. And by saying that, I don't mean offensive post either. It is just the fact that human minds are capable of interpreting things their own way. I do not want to be misunderstood. I do not wished to be judged. So, I became too careful. So careful with my choice of words, and my choice of materials that I could hardly blog anymore.

On top of that is of course the privacy issue. I am afraid of 'over exposure'. It is like an ongoing, never ending contemplation of, "to blog" or "not to blog"; or "to post" or "not to post". Blogging to me is like finally got to vomit out ruminations bottled up in me. But, the same, persistent dilemma puts me into a mind fatigue state. It is like I want to freely be myself but I can't. So, I sort of vanished. Made myself disappear.

I think this has do me good. From the average maybe of 10 visitors per day, I now have maybe 1 or none per day. I know less or people follows my blog now. Perhaps some may even have forgotten. I am happy. I felt less restrain.

With so much things overflowing from the past to present, it is impossible to blog about all. Most importantly, this quarter of century has thought me some things. And I learned.

Apart from all the craps, I have decided to 'refresh' and do some refurbishing on my blog. Chucked away some stuffs. Added some. Edited some items. And "tadaa!". New look! Clean and simple :)

Hope to blog again, soon ;)

I have an impulse

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I have an impulse...

to delete this blog.

I have an impulse...

to leave this blog.

One Case Down

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"OMG!" It felt as if my heart is going to drop out or jump out.

Couldnt' sleep. Woke up much easier and earlier compared to usual. Slept less than 4 hours and I was in the MOPD waiting area for about an hour before being called in. Palpitation!

Surgical long case means medical short cases. Deadly combination.

I can't help but to utter, "Shit!" in reflex when being told about that. Especially it is an Ortho case which is completely my Achilles heel! Now I felt so sorry for saying that in front of my lecturer, "Sorry, Dr.M". I hope you know it comes to me like a dead sentence.

I was "gagap-ing" the whole way. Mind block and "Errsss". Which are totally poor prognostic factors!

Worse still, I mentioned left foot pathology as right foot! Gah! What the heck am I thinking?! The examiners sure will be thinking that this girl is worse than kindergarten student's level on anatomy.

Dorsal mentioned as ventral. Ah!!! (screaming at the top of my lungs, "Where did my brain go?!") Walao. Gagap. Gagap. gagap. All the way. Ish.

I don't really understand what they wanted, one shuffeled me to perform examination with running commentary, the other one kept telling "You got no time and you have done this already, right?" ....blur....



2 more shots.

2 more case to go.

Brain, please come back.
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'Silent night'

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Silent night.

The night is silent.

That was the last song 'she' heard.

That was the last song I sang, to 'her'.

And silently,...

Silent night.

'Frog-rein' body in my house

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In medical practice, presence of foreign body in the body is almost always an emergency. Since, it is 'foreign', meaning not supposed to be there, the principle of management is: to remove the foreign body.

So, I have a case here.

It was almost 11pm and I was walking into the kitchen when I noticed a small 'mass' over the right corner of my kitchen wall. The light was not on. I strained my eyes a little, trying to make out what the heck is that 'mass'. To my horror, i noted two "biji" of eye sitting over its upper surface. It's a freaking frog!!! Omy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is that creature doing in here? House is meant to be inhabited by human, not frog! Or toad (cause it looks ugly).


How am I supposed to deal with this?! Living alone/ away from home I have to admit is not easy. I don't mind to cook, wash, clean, etc by myself. But, dealing with 'foreign body' in the house is really beyond my capability lor. I am not that independent.

I asked the help from one of my housemate. She brought a stick along. It didn't help though. The not-so-big frog was leaping at like about half meter height lor. Scary!

I suggested to call 'Bomba' (firemen) to come and remove that 'foreign body' but my friend gave me a weird look.

Well, the frog may not bite but this is freaking scary leh. How to approach? Moreover, it is jumping like mad. If it is a cockroach, I can at least spray with insecticide then they will grow weaker and weaker and then eventually dead. But, for a frog, I really don't know how. Plus, we have already attempted the 'removal' but failed. So, why can't I call the Bomba? It is some sort, more of less, an emergency, right?

My friend said Bomba will scold if they knew they were called here just to remove a frog from a house.


In the end, the frog jumped and hid under the boxes below the table. My housemate pulled out the washing machine hose from the outlet with the hope that overnight, that frog will jump into that 'draining hole' (or whatever you call it).

Well,! anyone? please...


It is the little things that matter the most

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Men and women have always been described that they come from a totally different planet. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. No wonder we are so different!

Most of the time women are a more sensitive creature, who look more into tiny, tiny stuffs that men would tend to ignore. I guess that is why God put man and woman together. If not for all the little things that has been taken care of, a house would just be a house, not a home. But somehow, men just failed to understand why are women into all sort of 'petty', small stuffs like flushing the toilet, boiling the water, etc.

The importance is not proportionately reflected on the adjectives, 'little' or 'small' itself. In fact, I would say the importance is reflected reversly proportional to its label. Take the latest news for example; Influenza A (H1N1), the virus infection of what the world is now afraid to be pandemic. Given the previous history of SARS that left the world still in shivers, the comotion today was because of the tiny, minute activity in the virus that leads to the whole antigenic drift and antigenic shift thing.

It is the little things that make up things. Cells make up tissue. Tissues make up organ. Organs makes up the system. And systems make up a whole functioning body that enable you to read this now, isn't it?

Latest technology now are going smaller, tinier, more and more microscopic. Nanotechnology this nanothecnology that. But, has anyone heard of any new development on some gigatechnology? or teratechnology?

It is the little things that our eyes seldom see. Not because we are literally blind but because when we have conditioned it to be 'small' and 'little'. When it is 'small' and 'little', "who cares?-why bother?" kind of attitude sets in automatically.

It is so 'small' and 'little' that it has not earn enough of importance to be noted in our life. Perhaps that is why, men will almost never seems to understand why some 'small' things like 'this' or 'that' actually matters to another person (eg, women). Because all these things which are of importance to women has never really earned the right to be noted upon by men. Why?

As viewed from Mars: Small things mah. Don't know why she 'bilibala...' about all these petty stuffs one. (means it is not important, and never will be important to me la)

And from Venus, day by day, people are getting more and more frustrating, unable to understand why the inhabitants from Mars never seems to be able to grasp the point that this, though is small, is important.

My point here is, anyone can tell you little things are the things that matter the most. Unless, we, ourselves, think that this is not just any little thing, and realizing + admitting the importance(s), only then will we see it. Then only, it will become something that really matters.

To end, I would share something I read on the internet. How often do you have a bad day because a meteor chose your house as a landing spot? or a century old oak tree thought your car would be a comfortable place to lie down?

Or your bad day most of the time is due to a bunch of plain little things? (like traffic jam, over time working hours, etc)

You see, little things do matter, don't they?
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@ Dr Hadi's son wedding

silly mistake

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I did a silly mistake...

Professionalism... sigh

Do you know your name?

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Do you know your name?

People often ask me questions like:

Is this your English name? or...

So, this is your Chinese name?

English, Chinese, Malay, or Indian I don't know. Don't know what are the differences and it is not my concern if it is a English name or a Chinese name or Malay name or an Indian name really. It is just a name, my name.

My standard reply is always, to smile and say, "That is my name".

I never really know there is a meaning to my name. My parents have no specific reason when they name me. I have a homework today; to find out what my name means.

I googled a few websites and did my homework.

The meaning of my name is: "God has added a child" or "God will add". Apparently, it is of Hebrew origin and it is actually a female version of the name Joseph.

Now, I know my name.

S'pore-Berlin-Frankfurt-Paris Honeymoon?!

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"Singapore, Berlin, Frankfurt, Paris"

Geez. How can one go to these places for honeymoon?

Only if you are married to a tycoon or a king I guees.
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I stepped out of the car and my friend came telling me that Dr.J told him
to pass the message to me.

Collect the books from the library? Weird. She should be in the ward
working by now. Why library?

He explained in few reasonably logical words and walked off.

I wasn't convinced enough. Plus, the library is like almost 2 blocks away.
Thus, I thought of checking in the ward first, which is much nearer to my place
of duty.

We took the same lift up to the ward and my friend gave me a 'why-don't-you-believe-me-i'm-your-friend' kind of look. I
was totally in dilemma.

"Why would she be in that building at this hour?" I asked.

In the most 'selamba' tone, these words flowed out smoothly,
"Because she has a course there wat. The neonatal resusitation course."

Hmm. That is why she wants me to meet her there. I was totally
convinced at that point. The lifts open at the 6th floor and I made no exit.

I went all the way down to the ground floor and headed towards the ACC
building, where the library is. Just before I took the lift up to the library, I
received a sms:

"Today is April's Fool"

According to my friends, if you have been tricked on the April's Fool day, you are not allowed to get angry. Instead, you should laugh out and also probably say, "I am such a fool". Haha. Yea, rite.

It doesn't make you a fool when you are being tricked and fooled like that. It increases your endorphins anyway. So, chill out and share the laughters with the world.

On the other hand, there are times when you thought you knew someone enough and when you thought you understood someone enough, it is apparently incorrect. And that, I felt totally fooled.

I am guilty of being a fool. And "Ouch"! Yea, "ouch"!


Fooled and tired.

Better spend time, knowing something I would know and understand for sure. Back to mugging my faithful books.

Is this wrong?

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Would anyone please tell me, is this wrong?

Is it wrong to have such thought?

Do you have a problem?

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Ask anyone: "Who have problems?"

And you would probably get the whole world raising their hands in response.


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My "Ipanema"

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Happiness :)

I have been eyeing on Ipanema sandals but they were always so pricey. And, today I got myself a decent pair of Ipanema sandals @ Rm 19.90 (in Terengganu!) !!! Its definitely worth buying though I would prefer it to be one size smaller. Anyhow, it still fits and.....

I'm happy :)

All I get

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All I get are these...

.....for my birthday ???!!!!

Last week, I got attracted and influenced to play the "egg-y" machine or the "tikam" game. To play it is simple. All you need is 50 cents coin. Put the coin(s) in accordingly, turn the knob of the machine, wait for the machine to lay the "egg" out, and hoola~! You'll have your mystery gift inside your "egg". Open it, and shout. You can either shout in happiness (hopefully), shout in dismay, or shout in 'geramness'.

I got this cutie last week on my 3rd attempt:

And I was hoping to give myself a birthday treat with another cute animal soft toy. But, sigh!!!!! I got 3 'rotten' eggs instead. :(

'wish' & 'should'

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A lot of times, I wished. I wished she would have fought harder. I wished she would have hanged on a bit more. Just a bit more.

It was harder to understand than I thought. I mean why wouldn't she make it through? She has made it through so much. So much. She got better too. She did. She survived an operation. And even survived a heart attack. Even the kidney failure was just transient. She should be discharging soon. But, just as things were getting better, her whole system decided to collapse? I could not comprehend. I do not understand.

She was strong. She has been strong. But, selfish me, I wished she would be stronger.

I wished she would just survived this once more. Just once more.

I wished the doctors could have done more instead of saying, "confused? why is she confused?", "she has got all the reasons to be confused". They should have done more.

As the "wish" & "should" moments came flooding again, I grieved. I grieved for her absence.

She fought a lot. And she fought enough. I know.

But, I also know that she is no longer here.

I miss you a lot, 'Apo'.

Missed MY flight!!!

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Overlooking the window, I saw an airplane taking off. The airplane which I am supposed to be sitting in. Ah! Horrible!

Someone (caring enough) asked, "Am I tramatized?"

"YES! The fare! Now, I have to take a freaking expensive flight back to sad-land, KT"

uuuurrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh.......... freaking traumatized! :(