Father, I ask of you this day

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I looked at the tired, dull eye of his
I caught the subtle smile he gave
I heard his soft yet weary and worn out voice
I felt his gentle gesture

And I ask…
Father I ask of you this day
That you’ll continue to look over your beloved child
To wipe dry the little tears,
And to polish his eye glittery shine once more;
To give rest to the tired and weary,
And to renew his strength everyday;
To lift up the heavy laden shoulder,
And to provide him the courage to press on further..

Thank you, Father
Thank you for your pair of wondrous eye
That is forever looking

But Father,
Its suffice for me to know you are there
Look upon him
Provide him
And held him in the greatest care

Thank you, Father
Thank you for your pair of attentive ears
That is forever listening

But Father,
It is my prayer that
You’ll spare him your ears
And listen to his prayers

Thank you, Father
Thank you for your two gentle yet mighty hands
That is forever comforting and guiding

But Father,
Your daughter will be fine with one
Reach out the other hand and take his’
Give him all the comfort and guidance
That’s forever unfailing

Thank you, Father
Thank you for the joyful smile
That is such blessed to have

But Father,
I am more than grateful
To have tasted the sweetness of the joy
And I ask that
That you’ll pour the rest of the jar unto him
Fill him abundantly
Fill him with all the riches of joy

Thank you, Father
Thank you for all the blessings
You've poured upon

But Father,
I don’t need to be greedy
Shower him with the blessings of life

Let him be peaceful
Let him be joyful
Let him seek you
Let him find you
And let him be free
Let him be strong
Let him be courageous
And let him be healthy

For I really don’t need to be greedy
Because of you, Father
I never lack
Because of you, Father
I have enough
Thank you, Father..

And I present this sincere prayer
For this is all I ask of you this day

a messy, weak week

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Been sleeping, feeling sleepy n sleeping all the time lately. Since this semester has started, I've gradually got myself into a 'caffeinated' lifestyle. From occasional drinking, now I'm drinking coffee almost every single day in uni. Coffee is nice. And especially when the weather is hot; your room is warm and stuffy, a cup of iced Nescafe simply makes you feel better, more bearable, and more lively. From a somewhat caffein addiction, I think my caffein tolerance is gradually developing. Sometimes a drink makes me feel alert but sometimes it has no impact at all. And lately, I'm feeling rather weak instead, even with a drink. Or maybe its just the haze. Afternoon nap or sleep usually gives me numbs and aches. And waking up earlier in the morning is even harder (its harder coz it has always been hard for me to do so). Just like this morning, my roomate had to off my alarm and yet, I am still deep in my slumber...turning a deaf ear on the external world. Or maybe its just that I'm having some pre-breakdown symptoms. Aargh. I look into the mirror and I don't look good. I'm feeling mEsSy, uNoRgaNizEd, lack of enErgy, wEaK, sPiRitUallY lOw, slightly dEpreSseD, sAd, stRessEd, ... :'( I don't want anyone to worry though. I just need hugz, you and of course I need God.

just a picture afterall..?

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That night about a year an a half ago, I felt this way... and I asked a question. I asked, "Must I be strong? Or am I not allowed to show that I can be weak just like others too?"

Tonight I have the similar feeling. It wasn't really voiced from anywhere within; it is out there. Somehow, the night breeze just brought a swift whisper by my ear.

The plain face re-emerged, nothing was spoken but I searched deep through the picture. To claim that I understand the art beneath, I dare not. But I felt something in the picture. I held my hands reaching in to hold and I threw my arms in to carress... but I failed. I felt sorry. I am sorry. I looked at the picture again, and all that I can do is only look.

I turned to look at my dissapointment and could only tell myself that I could do nothing perhaps because it is just a picture afterall. My sad-laden heart could only squeal another frail prayer to God. All the "why"s, "how"s, and pleas are all that arise.

God makes us brave when we're afraid, makes us strong when we are weak, but most of all, he teaches us to hold on to him when things keep falling.