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9 years ago
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ithasbeenveryenergytaxingyesveryitisjustsohardtodojustanythingyesbythatireallymeant anythingorifnotitseverythingwhatimsupposedtodoicantdobecauseicouldntevenforcemyselfinto itanditisanunimmaginablysufferingproccessforiknowishouldreallybedoingwhatishouldbuticant byforceornotmymindseemstobenonexistentanymoreitisannoyingikeptthinkingaboutitandworse stillicantstopthinkingaboutitsheissodeartomeandtousthatwearedoingwhatwecantoprotectand thatalsorefrainmefromtakinganyactionthatmaynotbetoherdelightsheisinafreakingstateoffragility whichislikealmostimpossibletomakeanydecisionwellmaybeinthesensethatyouwillneedtothink andrethinkoverzilliontimesfromeverypossibleaspectbeforefinallybraveenoughtotakeanother freakingstepitissuffocatingforheriknowitissadandworrisomeforthemiknowandineedtokeep myheadcoolmostofthetimeandbeasencouraginglypositiveandpressurelessaspossiblewhichislike notonlyveryenergytaxingbutitissohardyesitisjustsoharditmakesyousickyesverysickyouknow whyjustsimplybecausesadangeranxietymakesyoufeelinferiorlysickpalpitationsgastritissigns andsymptomsarelikeforeverfaithfullyaccompanyingyouallthetimeyesfreakosallthetime cmoncanttheyjustgoawayforasecondwhyisitsohardtosparemespareushuhwhyiamfeeling extremelysickiamsickofalltheemotionalsurgeandemotionalinstabilityineedtobestrongiknow butreallyiamfeelingverysickmentalwiseandphysicallyaffectedaswellitisreallybeyond mycomprehesionreallyicannotcomprehendicannotaccepttheirresponseseriouslydonttryto actfunnybecauseitisnotfunnyatallifthewordresponsibilityisnotinyourdictionarywellletmebe theonekindenoughtointroduceyoutothisessentialtermandpleaseitisnotatallawisethingfor youtotrytobeignorantorthinkthatyouareofanypositionsuperiortousbecauseifyoureallydo meantsoicanrestreassureyouthatitispurelynonsenseandstupidandiwillwanttogetthe messagestraightacrosssothatitwillforeverstuckinyourheadsopleasedontiamnotofany goodthingyouwillexpectifisuddenlyblowuplikeavolcanobecauseimightandiwilldontmake meloosecontrolyouseemstobepushingmetothisendsoiamreallywarningyouandifreakingfeel likeshootingyouallovereverysinglepossibleinchstopgivingnonsensebecauseiknowihavethebullet andwearebitingitandyouarereallygivingmearealhardtimeiamreallynotfeelingwellwhichitotally regretbecauseitisnotatallworthitforyoubeingthecausativeagentbutclearenoughilovehersimple enoughandihopeyouhearmeifnotdigyourearsorelseiwilldigitonyourbehalfsodontforceustodo somethingyouwontlikebematureanddowhatasaneandhumanepersonwoulddorealizeyourmistake pleaseitisthefundamentalthingsodoit
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2 comments:
hehe..tried to read but gave up before the first sentence finished!hahah..take care jolyn!see u soon coz hols half way thru redi :( ahaha..*hugz*
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