12/04/06 in ED

I begin to feel rather sensitive to the sound of the burglar alarm now, after being in the Emergency Dept. for a week plus. Everytime the alarm is rang, we will head straight to the 'red zone' ; the resusitation area. So every now and then, any burglar alarm like sound will give me a little 'jump'.

Upon arrival early in the hospital early this morning, the alarm rang twice.My friends was still stuck in the jam at that time. So,I put on the coat and went in. The moment I stepped in, I was in shock- most probably cardiogenic shock. All the staffs were there; the docs,MOs, MAs, SNs; standing in a circle with the head briefing in front. I stood by the door frozen for 5 milisecond and then some of them start gesturing and asking me to come in, "masuklah.. masuklah.." ... gulp... ok... and I went in to join the crowd.

One of the doc was briefing the patient's situation when I joined in. And then the head started shooting questions to everyone. As it was going around the circle, my legs feel weaker and weaker as the 'dead sentence' gets nearer to me. The docs all have some answer to say in reply but it is really an "oh no!" to me. I don't even know what is happening, whats wrong with the patient, ... some even speak some alien terms, which sounds pretty bombastic to me. Ok, I'm sweating all over now. Everyone is probably gonna look at me with their eyeballs potruding like a goldfish, expecting me to vomit some really sensible answer. One by one passed the 'test'. gosh! help me!!!

...it was my turn but then, thank God, she said " ini tak payah, belum belajar lagi clinical"... phew, I'm so glad and thankful.... A big relieve. The rest of the time, I was just standing there, listening while others are being questioned one by one, without exception.

--------------------------------------

Today, I had my first encounter of a BID patient. He was brought in dead. What can be done? Nothing, i assume. He was already in rigor motis, with mouth open and eyes wide open. Later, we could hear people crying over his death, sudden death. Then the ED's MO have to break the news to them. That is so tough. It was all so sudden, sad, and thats the end...