16/04/06 @ med camp

It is my 3rd med camp that I attended, including this Sunday's. The first one was at JinJang Utara ( north Jinjang), second one was at ( south Jinjang) , and today, we were at Jinjang Utara again. Though all three are in different place, it seems like we are going from North --> South -->North.

We started off with a talk on HFM disease and then followed by all the NCD health screening as usual. As we were in a Tadika, there were quite a number of little cuties running around. The kids just run through every single little space they can squeeze. I even stopped a little boy from hitting others with a bottle, a plastic bottle. Those cheeky little kiddos are just sooo simply adorable ;)

Ok, back to my work today. I felt like I'm some sort working 7 days week now, not gonna complain yet though. U see...last year Easter, I got baptised. I was rather reluctant to attend this med camp actually. Many people might not felt anything too special. But to me, besides remembering the day Jesus was resurrected, it is also marks a year since I testify to all that I accepted Christ and was baptised. However, i told myself, I can still go to the 5pm service later.

oh yeah, bout my work today. Though it was in a Tadika, we don't deal with the kids. It is just the tadika that we are using. I helped with the health screening for while and then I went to the room where they conduct Pap Smear test. Besides observing and learning, I was given the golden opportunity to perform the test. Yeap! My first hands on, doing the Pap Smear test for the ladies =)

Some of the ladies are rather tensed. That isn't helping, especially I'm equally tensed as well. The staff nurse usually let me do the easier ones buy it was a great experience. After a few times, I start to get the hold of it. If not because of them, I wouldn't have learn that much. The staff nurse are really willing to teach and put the trust to let me do it. Being the first time inserting and getting some of the tissue samples, I wasn't really that confident and sure. But, the staff nurse was ever ready to guide and motivate me. Honestly, I owe it to them.

Again, there goes another med camp. I left feeling satisfied and thankful, which outweighs all the reluctancy I've felt previously.

15/04/06 in ED

There wasn't many that are working on Saturday. The guard was also surprised to see me coming to the hospital today. Well, just to see if there's anything interesting to learn.

We were browsing and looking through X-ray films and CT scans, trying to interpret and eyeing for the 'chinese smiling face' in the CT brain. We saw two emergency resusitation case today. One was well but we lost the other one.

The man, with chest pain and SOB, deteriorated within half an hour upon entering. When his BP dropped and the heart beat was unstable, I felt the adrenaline rush looking at them performing their job. They kept calling the uncle, trying to keep him awake. It is getting more and more 'alarming and panicky' every moment. After the MA gave a loud 'thump' on his chest, he asked to ring the code call as they are in need of staff assistance at that moment.

I rang the bell once. No one came. Then, after another bell, few staffs came running in. My hands felt cold and my heart raced fast. It was critical. I stood there continuing looking. After more than half an hour of CPRs and a few defibrillations (my 1st time seeing this in real life) , he still did not make it.

As he was a chinese, I was being a medium between the patient and the doctors. That makes me one of the few last person he talked to before leaving.

The X-ray machine was already ready outside. However, we did not even have the chance to perform a CXR on him.

But I guess.... all that can be done has already been done. I was still talking to him a moment ago but now, he is lying still on the bed. We lost him.

with little prayers... may you rest in peace, uncle...

13/04/06 in ED

The whole Emergency Department seems unusually quiet today. Not much activities seem to be going on and most of the doctors we saw during the morning briefing is nowhere in sight as well. We hang around, yawning, sitting, standing, walking, lepaking here and there aimlessly until almost 3pm, when the code call was rang.

Today's encounter is best described in one word, complicated. At least thats how i see this. It was a suicidal case; an intentional weedkiller case. I see this as complicated for it involves families conflict. A man with 2 wives.

There was a brief, little, drama-like fight in resus. area jus now and we have to ask the guards to bring the 2nd wife out. The 1st wife and family were kept waiting in the room while we have to separate the 2nd wife from them and let her wait in the entrance.

When I was out helping a chinese lady in the triage and registrar, the 2nd wife come asking me and flooding me with her story... this and that. sigh... Then,...

back in the resus. area, the 1st wife n family came asking once in while to see the patient... then we have to hold them back, ask them to wait in the waiting room. Tears, angers, conflicting emotions filled the whole atmosphere.

We were there until the patient was admitted into the ward. As we are not any of the medical personnel in charge, it is rather hard to face the family members, of both side. Furthermore, we are not in a position convenient to give any report on the patient.

Complicated. All came in emotionally, with tears... It is sad; sad to see that it has to come to this stage...

12/04/06 in ED

I begin to feel rather sensitive to the sound of the burglar alarm now, after being in the Emergency Dept. for a week plus. Everytime the alarm is rang, we will head straight to the 'red zone' ; the resusitation area. So every now and then, any burglar alarm like sound will give me a little 'jump'.

Upon arrival early in the hospital early this morning, the alarm rang twice.My friends was still stuck in the jam at that time. So,I put on the coat and went in. The moment I stepped in, I was in shock- most probably cardiogenic shock. All the staffs were there; the docs,MOs, MAs, SNs; standing in a circle with the head briefing in front. I stood by the door frozen for 5 milisecond and then some of them start gesturing and asking me to come in, "masuklah.. masuklah.." ... gulp... ok... and I went in to join the crowd.

One of the doc was briefing the patient's situation when I joined in. And then the head started shooting questions to everyone. As it was going around the circle, my legs feel weaker and weaker as the 'dead sentence' gets nearer to me. The docs all have some answer to say in reply but it is really an "oh no!" to me. I don't even know what is happening, whats wrong with the patient, ... some even speak some alien terms, which sounds pretty bombastic to me. Ok, I'm sweating all over now. Everyone is probably gonna look at me with their eyeballs potruding like a goldfish, expecting me to vomit some really sensible answer. One by one passed the 'test'. gosh! help me!!!

...it was my turn but then, thank God, she said " ini tak payah, belum belajar lagi clinical"... phew, I'm so glad and thankful.... A big relieve. The rest of the time, I was just standing there, listening while others are being questioned one by one, without exception.

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Today, I had my first encounter of a BID patient. He was brought in dead. What can be done? Nothing, i assume. He was already in rigor motis, with mouth open and eyes wide open. Later, we could hear people crying over his death, sudden death. Then the ED's MO have to break the news to them. That is so tough. It was all so sudden, sad, and thats the end...

走?

当我一步一步的再 走迁去走下去的时候,每一个脚步开始觉得越来越沉重.走了多远我自己也不清楚.很想停下来因恐怕自己走了太远.心里好多的疑问,好多的不肯定,和矛盾.一切所藏在内心里的自己也静静的开始想代替你回答.或许我们根本都没有答案.不过综还是须要一个方向罢.情绪的波动,渺茫的影子,...一切都是糢糊的.看不见又摸不见.我也不知道该如何的走了...

I am sick

I am at the time of the month where I get agitated real easily. I know it and I've been trying to avoid being agitated. But others come looking for it. So the final sum of the equation will be irritability plus agitation.

PMDD is what I'm having. With a sound mind, I know it well enough to self diagnose this. Frankly speaking it is rather severe coz it interferes with part of my daily activities and relationship. And if you are wondering, no, I'm not taking any medication.

I probably should consider. Ask the fresh victim who have tasted the swing given. I felt sorry for that, really am. Maybe someone should just give me Prozac or some serotonin booster or whatever before I bite another head off. Urgh.. I am sick, so all the poor victims, please be understanding and forgiving.

I feel like rambling further but no, I think I shall not do it here. Will most probably recover by tomorrow or so anyway. It is just so sick to be sick ;(

light-head-ME

I am feeling much 'light-headed' now, after some snipping in the saloon just now. I have always enjoyed going to saloon for haircut. It feels good; it is relaxing, comfy, pampering and 'de-stressing'.

Basically I still look the same, but with shorter hairs. Though I wanted to change my hairstyle but since I have not decided what kind of change should I go for, and I need to go get some hands on my hair, I just ask the hairstylist to do some little cutting or trimming. I shedded quite an amount of fur and yup, i've just tuned into 'light and easy'...and thats a perfect mode before starting my posting in the hospital tomorrow. If everything is alright, we should be placed in the emmergency ward. YuP yUpz... that is where all the A&E cases are. Hmm...don't know what is the new excitement on hold for us to explore and experience... but the first obstacle to overcome is to wake up EARLY and arrive there by 8am. Thats gonna be quite a torture especially during this long semester break.

I wonder which human get up early in the dawn during the holidays. Birds do. But, I am a human; not a bird, and I'm definitely not an early bird.

OUR pink shirt

This was what I wore yesterday and Anna wore the same as well. Yeah! The exact same one! Hmm..such a coincidence?

Nope. [And not to worry, I'm not going to give any of you an April Fool's joke or trick. ] Actually, we bought it together last week in Bangsar. FOS was on a 'buy one free one' bargain and this idea just came up. We got this same pink, baby-tee and had a deal to wear it in this week's Cell Group meeting, which was yesterday. It has been quite some time since I have this kind of 'fun'.

I used to do this with my bunch of secondary school's girlfriends. Besides school shirts, all of us has a similar shirt ( as in same design but different colour), bracelet, necklace pendant and pencil case! Some of us have other similar stuffs as well like shorts and key chains..but, that was the good- old- funny days. We used to ask each other what will we be wearing.. so quite often, few of us will wear exactly the same outer attire. Or sometimes, we will just set, "Ok, this time we shall all wear skirt and sleeveless shirt". hehe, Back then, it was really funny cause we, as girls, did not really dare to dress up in skirts and sleeveless yet. So we have to specially set a day where we will all share the courage and try to look like and dress like a decent girl. haha. Time passes. People change. Now, each of my buddies have grown to become a pretty, fair and sweet girl-ie. luv them all ;)

The feeling of 'together-ness' is something I did and do miss a lot, especially when each of us has gone to pursue a different route and consequently, time spent together is very much less.

However, this time, the little act of being sister like and put on the same shirt with her has brought me the warmth of joy with some adorable, naughty gigglings that are just so simply nice :)