When Christmas have no reasons to be merry...

24th Dec 2008,


Christmas eve




Her progress fluctuates just like a roller coaster. She improves few days, deteriorates, and improves. I believe there is not a single system in her body was spared. She went in with liver enzymes sky high, found out to have cholecystitis, drainage done, had a cholecystectomy done upon noting that it is no longer functioning (dye injected past few days was still there). And five days later, she had an heart attack. It was scary enough to see how much she laboured for air. But she was strong. She improved. All the AF and tachy were no longer there. Then, her kidneys seems to be shutting down. Few dialysis were done. The nephrologist is happy with the improvement in this 89 years old lady. She is starting to pass more urine and even the urinary cathether was off today when I came to visit. Few times the doctors have commented on her remarkable recovery from all these stressors. Miraculous indeed. We were all thankful. Out of a sudden, she started to be confused and was hallucinating yesterday. At some point, they even have to restrain her arms from pulling off things off her body.

I went in this morning. She was still confused and hallucinating but less aggressive. Didn't manage to conversate with her properly. Stayed with her till 3pm. She was sleeping (plus moving her hands around) all the while. I barely see her awake. Didn't get to feed her anything. I went and pass the car to dad. Mom and dad does the evening shifts nowadays. Just before mom came home, the Dr called said they were unable to wake her up but she is still alive.

Mom and dad was still on their way there when my uncle informed that her systems has already collapsed. She won't make it through.


I held my breath and read through the sms again.


About an hour later, I received another sms.


She stopped breathing a while ago but she came back shortly. It is as if she was waiting,... waiting for someone. I with held the information, prepared a decent christmas eve dinner for granny. At about 11pm dad called, finally giving the grren light to go visit grandaunt, for the last time. We braved through the christmas eve jam. We arrived in that familiar room. When the world is celebrating in joy, here in that room, it was totally the opposite.


Dad and mom brought granny home. Relatives left shortly, one by one. I told them I would stay. I stayed. Slowly, and quietly... she left us.


6.44 a.m. , 25th Dec 2008, Christmas Day. It is also the day she left.

When the mewing and barking won't stop...

Everyday I sat on my chair, listening to the rhythm of the falling rain. I woke up hearing the same music. I even fell asleep listening the same thing.

"Did someone forgot to turn the tap "off" 'up there'?" I would sometimes ask.

'tap-tap-tap...'. The tapping sounds continued.

Sometimes it would pour for few days, paused briefly, and rained again. And when it is raining continuously like now, the rhythm is actually not at all monotanous. It has alternating notes of 'cats-and-dogs' with 'kittens-and puppies', and also the soft drizzling notes.

Hmmm... come to think of it, should record this sound of monsoon nature. The splash and splatter could earn me money! Tee~ hee~...

Anyway, the rain was really heavy just now and the water rised fast. The scene of me squatting on my roof, with an umbrella, waiting for officers to come for rescue in a boat snapped into my mind. I turned to my housemate and told her, "You should have bought a sampan too." She said we should walk to the hospital instead. It is a good experience. I told her I would rather not go in reply and went of to take some pictures instead. Well, okay...that conversation was random and not really of any importance actually. Here are some pictures:

The drain level in front of my house. And this side of the road without cars was flooded.

The flood.

My house's 'longkang' (drain). Water level reaching critical.

If the rain is still pouring generously, that will mean danger! But, phew! Thank God. The rain has gone softer now.

The Good Samaritans.

And, last but not least, the picture of these group of people who were so kind. They stood with umbrella and their feet soaked in the flood water to warn and direct the drivers and motorcyclists away from the high water level ahead.

学习感谢

昨天从教会回来,我给了我自己一个功课. 我要学习如何感谢.

时常会以责怪的方式出问自己, "为什么他那么的自私?".

"其实他有没有想过他所造成的伤害呢?"

很容易就会点燃了一堆不舒适的感觉.

但圣经说, "凡事谢恩；因为这是神在基督耶稣里向你们所定的旨意."

由其实要在这样的情况之下来感谢, 是很难的事.

为什么我们要感谢呢?

感谢伤害我的人, 因为你磨炼了我的心态;

感谢欺骗我的人, 因为你增进了我的智慧;

感谢中伤我的人, 因为你砥砺了我的人格;

感谢绊倒我的人, 因为你强化了我的双腿;

感谢抛弃我的人, 因为你教会了我要独立;

感谢斥责我的人, 因为它指出了我的缺点；

感谢蔑视我的人, 因为它觉醒了我的自尊；

感谢鞭策我的人, 因为它激发了我的斗志;

感谢身边的小人，因为它让我学会了保护自己.

shared joy is double joy

(I am emo. This is random. But still, shared joy is double joy!)


I should really go do some book mugging for tomorrow's test already, but then, I thought, "ah,... why not just open Facebook a second to see if there is anything interesting update. And geez! I saw pictures of my friend in graduation hood & gown. There goes another one, leaving for the graduated group of people. But, I am really happy for her. A truly dedicated & smart girl whom I respect for all her diligence. "Congrats, Dr. Tee!" :)


Don't get me wrong. For all those who have graduated, I felt the same shot of happiness for you people. All of you have my heartfelt congratulations. Really. It is just that, I think I am a bit emo today. As I browsed through her pictures, my tears just welled up in my eyes. And I felt as if something is stucked on my throat. I am sure for all the hard works you toiled, it has done your parents pretty pretty proud of you. I wonder when is my turn? And will the day really come?

Recalling the pictures that I have been browsing in Facebook this week, it has really been nice to see those sweet smiles on those who have just graduated, those who have just got engaged, and those who have just built their own family. It is all very wonderfully captured. I love those pictures. Very much.

Better not drift on, and should really get back walking... on my own journey again!

Project-24 (V)

Prey & Predator

The duel.

RWP

Whenever you are filling a form which requires you to detail out personal data, what do you usually put in the "Hobbies" column? By the way, sleeping is not a valid entry. Someone told me that, some teacher of mine I think.

Back at the days of primary school, I used to put hobbies like collecting stamps, playing badminton, reading,... etc. Then as I grew, changing my pinafore from dark blue's to sky blue's, I had a little hard time to think what are my hobbies then. I had pretty much stopped doing those stamps collecting thingy. I still played badminton but that was already more of an occasional activity when my pink flourescent racquet spoilt. (My sister's was fluorescent green! Was really pretty, okay..!) Reading is still in the list though. In fact, reading has always been in my list. Unfortunately, I read lesser & lesser nowadays. And by that, I meant reading for leisure.

I believe a lot of people put reading as one of their hobbies too. Whether its for convenience sake, or just to create a better profile, reading is undeniablly a good hobby. Reading is great! I could not name you all the benefits of reading, give it a try & you'll know it! :)

I was browsing internet & reading blogs today, when I found out about this interesting event - "Read while Waiting Project" :



Since I'm unable to participate it, I am doing my part to share it here and hope some of you will find the interest to join and spread the word. :)

23rd Aug 2008 @ KL Sentral. Area in front of KFC, Dunkin Donuts & KTM Komuter entrance. (Malaysia)

So, that is this Saturday @ 3.oopm - 3.15pm! All you need to do is just read! ;)

You can find more informations on this event here:
http://randomalphabets.com/?p=492

and you can even join them in Facebook:
http://www.new.facebook.com/event.php?eid=20394646490

Remember the message, "Read while Waiting" ;)

Random

It is another mundane day, trapped in my red, hot, room, trying to R & R. (R & R simply means rest & relax read & revise.) At this moment, it will be just great if I can

take a stroll along the beach

or...

indulge a nice cup of drink in a cosy cafe.

*poof!*

End of daydreaming!

I am unfortunately doing none of those and am still sitting here, in front of messy stacks of books and notes. How nice!?

Just as my bladder volume reaches 400ml, I made my way to the toilet. And as I opened the door, I saw some brownish thingy on the wall beside the toilet bowl. It freak me out a while and I was figuring out, "What the heck is that?!"

I swear it appeared to be bigger in my visual field than it is in this picture!

As my vision is obviously not 6/6, I strained my eyes, gently took a step closer, stuck out my head like a giraffe, and guess what was it on my toilet's wall?

2 lizards "pareunia-ing"

-__-'''

Sigh. It is less than 48 hours before exam... And these creatures are happily 'doing it' in the bathroom.

When two elephants fight...

What happened when two elephants fight?

“When two elephants fight, it is the grass that gets trampled”

- African Proverb -

The Lobsterman

Arriving at the dinner place...

"The Lobsterman" @ SS2, Petaling Jaya

I was pretty curious on where are we going to dine in that night but all I knew was, the place is in Petaling Jaya and it starts with "L". Oh! And yea, it is not a cheap place.

"???"

"huh?"

Yeap, that was my exact response. I totally have NO idea where is that place until we reached.

"The Lobsterman"

It was totally a surprise. Actually when I thought of it now, very strictly speaking, it starts with "T" rather than "L". Nevertheless, I never knew of this place. It was kind of hidden but very prettily decorated with yellow light bulbs.

Fascinated by the 'tools'

I have never eaten lobster before and it was kind of an eye opener to see the cutleries used to 'dig' the lobster meat out. We did not have lobster but it was nonetheless a good meal.

Cheers! :)

The views: ...of the restaurant and out the restaurant (thru the glass)

The meal. (did not have lobster though, just for display... hehe)

First, a plate of baked escargot and then a bowl of mushroom soup with a basket of garlic bread was served before the arrival of the main meal. I was a bit hesitant to try the escargot but once i put it into my mouth, I immediately LOVE it! Baked with cheese and potato, it was supreme! The mushroom soup and the garlic bread was not only aromatic but delicious. I almost wanted to lick the bowl clean.

Our main dish was a lamb shank and a chicken. Decoration, effort, and taste was really good. The Lobsterman sure did a great job on non-lobster dish as well. It is just a plain pampering to the stomach.

Ambience was pretty good. I like it. Some said it is a bit bright but I thought it was ok. Plus point for dining here: they will come with a polaroid camera and take a picture of you. That was really cool. Definitely love it!

A complimentary card from The Lobsterman.

With a polaroid photo of you in it!

I just love this place. Would definitely love to try their lobster next time. Should really give this place a try and it is really not pricey for a cosy and fine dining like this.

Note: You can even check out their menu (with the price even!?!) at their website. Cool! :)

Saying "I'm Sorry"

Really cute video!

I was practically giggling when watching this short video but at the same time I found that it has beautifully animated out its own meaning in a cute-ish way, which words alone are hard to describe.

It was pretty cute to see those dollies blinking with their innocent, 'button-y' eye. It gives you a feeling of pure innocense as they dance along. Somehow, somewhat, sometime, damages just happen. Perhaps it is accidental or unintentional. And, out of good will, love, or care, the "supposed-to-be-fixing phase" comes. But,...

"Oopps! Look what have you done?!"

So kesian. :(

Anyway, hope you'll find the same appreciation,... enjoy! ;)

Trip to Pulau Kapas & Pulau Gemia

(from left to right)

1. KBC - the place we stayed overnight for RM50. Won't say it is cheap though. It is just a room with 2 beds and a pathetic table fan, that's all.

2. Noted while strolling along the beach. The tree with the special pair of hands.

3. Just me, posing :)

(from left to right, 1st row...2nd row)

1. Went canoing for about 1.5 hours! The rate is not too bad. Cost us only about RM15 for the whole activity. You can get the best rate (as far as I am concerned) at Makcik Gemuk. (just beside KBC). And plus, it is nearer to canoe to Gemia Island from there.

2. The first 'island' conquered. (nothing there but a collection of rocks)

3. The ultimate challenge for that day; Gemia Island! A small, dainty, quiet, and nice island. Did I mention it is a private island? Yeapz! But we are still allowed to go 'lepak' around.

This is the view of resort rooms in the private island ;)

4. Baby turtle! (in Gemia Island)

On the way...

We passed by a little cave on our way to Gemia. There were bats flying and shrieking away while those 'mat sallehs' in the water scooped and wet those flying creatures. I was really tempted to canoe through that cave though.

On the way...

There were really nice views if you would just look under the water. Canoe leisurely. Stop. Look down. And enjoy the amazing lives underwater! The water was so clear that even I managed to snap clear underwater pictures! Cool aye!





Time flies. And the next thing we realized is that it is morning already and it is time to go back. If I were to recommend you KBC, my only reason would be that the place is operated by Dutch and Malaysians! Really cute guys! *drool* And hot, pretty girls too of course! :D

Goodbye, Kapas!

The driver doing the "sweep" thingy... cool ^.^

Overall, it was a nice and relaxing trip. There is nothing much in Kapas Island. You will see resorts lining along the beach and basically thats all. There are few places that offers water activity. You can do things like snorkelling, diving, boat riding, canoing, and fishing. However, I did not notice any para-gliding, banana boat, or adventures of this sort offered over there. Nonetheless, Kapas is nice in its own way. Quiet and nice. It reminds me of the guy in 'The Lotus Eater' who fell in love with Capri Island (the one in the SPM English literature's short story).

I spent most of the time on the beach and plus electricity is only available form 7pm to 7am. It is not really windy over there though. After dinner, star gazing session is just perfect as the dessert. There will be few tiny bonfire set up over the beach too. Everything is just plain relaxing. Stroll around short while, lie down to enjoy the majestic picture of stars across the sky, and then call it a night.

Besides the not so comfy accomodation over there, I have no other complain. It was convenient to go (From Marang jetty, it takes about 10 to 15 mins of boat ride to reach. From Kuala Terengganu to Marang, a bus ride will only cost about RM2 or less, depending on your stop). The people there were nice (and some even makes you go drooling too! ). And you can get 'edible-but-not-so-expensive' food there as well. Had my lunch in Warong Pak Ya and you can get a plate of fried rice there starting from RM5. Cool rite?

In short, this 1D 1N Kapas-Gemia trip was really lovely and relaxing :)

*Snore!*

Zzz~!!!

He sure can snore quite loud :D

Hm mm... I was just wondering, how many flies can fly into his mouth?

Take your guess!

The best reply will receive a gift from me! :)

[offer valid until 20 Apr 2008, 12 midnight]

Project-24 (IV)

"Hello?"

“Hello?”

My voice echoed through and then it was dead silence again. There was creeping sense of silence as though there were no inhabitants in this space. I left out a soft sigh. The clearly, empty space had amplified the audible decibels again.

No wonder all the voices went unheard. There were no signs of living being at all.

You'll know when

I was standing at the corridor, talking on the phone, when I saw one of my friend past by, carrying a parcel mail. I've always envy those who get to collect mails. It always feels nice to get something from your postman, especially those that you didn't-know-it's-coming or have been anticipating it. Whatever it is, joy and 'yeay-fulness' says it all. As much as I would like to experience the joy, I did not really get to feel that much, except for the monthly bills! And,that's crap.

Anyway, I happened to casually popped the question out,

"Hey, how come you never send me things?"

You'll know that you are living in a 'world of advanced communication and technology' when you get this in reply:

"Eh, got. But now I'm starting to run out of things to send you in Facebook."

-_-'''

(it makes me go, "What the....???!!!! FACEBOOK huh?" *slap forehead!* OK, my mistake. I forgot what era am I living at.)

Which is better?

To be hunted down as the wanted one? or to be the unwanted?

Project-24 (III)

When segregation takes place...

Project-24 (II)

Project-24 (I)

uh-oh!

A day in the psych's

I can't believe it!

I actually turned down the offer :(

Fantasy, reality...

As beautiful as fantasy may be,...

we still have to live in reality.

Cool gift

So this is the cool gift we got today. My roomate took one bottle of these mosquitoe pupae. It was still all 'pupae-ish', wringling little 'wormy' earlier this evening. And, now one of it has already hatched out!!!



It is really kinda cool. Even the skin is still floating around. Community med can be quite cool too, aye ;)

Long lecture hours give me...

HEADACHE!!!

U said, I said

You said:

It is perhaps the current situation made you feel unsecured, so do I; but the confidence and determination keeps me going, to face it bravely...

I will make it, even without support...



I said:

I am fearful, I am doubtful, and yes, I do feel weak at times. I felt broken and left to stand alone.

Do I keep myself going?

I told myself, I cannot falter; and yes, that kept me going, living with every tiny bits of courage I could collect.

I have not walked out alone (because of the fear for stray dogs) since my secondary school days. And today, I have re-experienced it again. Besides uttering prayers along the journey, the tiny voices inside my head kept me walking till the end by this telling:

"I will make it, even without support..."

It has been a long day. And I made it.