'Silent night'

Silent night.

The night is silent.

That was the last song 'she' heard.

That was the last song I sang, to 'her'.

And silently,...

Silent night.

'Frog-rein' body in my house

In medical practice, presence of foreign body in the body is almost always an emergency. Since, it is 'foreign', meaning not supposed to be there, the principle of management is: to remove the foreign body.

So, I have a case here.

It was almost 11pm and I was walking into the kitchen when I noticed a small 'mass' over the right corner of my kitchen wall. The light was not on. I strained my eyes a little, trying to make out what the heck is that 'mass'. To my horror, i noted two "biji" of eye sitting over its upper surface. It's a freaking frog!!! Omy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is that creature doing in here? House is meant to be inhabited by human, not frog! Or toad (cause it looks ugly).

walaaaaoooooo.........~~~!!!!!!!!

How am I supposed to deal with this?! Living alone/ away from home I have to admit is not easy. I don't mind to cook, wash, clean, etc by myself. But, dealing with 'foreign body' in the house is really beyond my capability lor. I am not that independent.

I asked the help from one of my housemate. She brought a stick along. It didn't help though. The not-so-big frog was leaping at like about half meter height lor. Scary!

I suggested to call 'Bomba' (firemen) to come and remove that 'foreign body' but my friend gave me a weird look.

Well, the frog may not bite but this is freaking scary leh. How to approach? Moreover, it is jumping like mad. If it is a cockroach, I can at least spray with insecticide then they will grow weaker and weaker and then eventually dead. But, for a frog, I really don't know how. Plus, we have already attempted the 'removal' but failed. So, why can't I call the Bomba? It is some sort, more of less, an emergency, right?

My friend said Bomba will scold if they knew they were called here just to remove a frog from a house.

Sigh.

In the end, the frog jumped and hid under the boxes below the table. My housemate pulled out the washing machine hose from the outlet with the hope that overnight, that frog will jump into that 'draining hole' (or whatever you call it).

Well,....help! anyone? please...

:S

It is the little things that matter the most

Men and women have always been described that they come from a totally different planet. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. No wonder we are so different!

Most of the time women are a more sensitive creature, who look more into tiny, tiny stuffs that men would tend to ignore. I guess that is why God put man and woman together. If not for all the little things that has been taken care of, a house would just be a house, not a home. But somehow, men just failed to understand why are women into all sort of 'petty', small stuffs like flushing the toilet, boiling the water, etc.

The importance is not proportionately reflected on the adjectives, 'little' or 'small' itself. In fact, I would say the importance is reflected reversly proportional to its label. Take the latest news for example; Influenza A (H1N1), the virus infection of what the world is now afraid to be pandemic. Given the previous history of SARS that left the world still in shivers, the comotion today was because of the tiny, minute activity in the virus that leads to the whole antigenic drift and antigenic shift thing.

It is the little things that make up things. Cells make up tissue. Tissues make up organ. Organs makes up the system. And systems make up a whole functioning body that enable you to read this now, isn't it?

Latest technology now are going smaller, tinier, more and more microscopic. Nanotechnology this nanothecnology that. But, has anyone heard of any new development on some gigatechnology? or teratechnology?

It is the little things that our eyes seldom see. Not because we are literally blind but because when we have conditioned it to be 'small' and 'little'. When it is 'small' and 'little', "who cares?-why bother?" kind of attitude sets in automatically.

It is so 'small' and 'little' that it has not earn enough of importance to be noted in our life. Perhaps that is why, men will almost never seems to understand why some 'small' things like 'this' or 'that' actually matters to another person (eg, women). Because all these things which are of importance to women has never really earned the right to be noted upon by men. Why?

As viewed from Mars: Small things mah. Don't know why she 'bilibala...' about all these petty stuffs one. (means it is not important, and never will be important to me la)

And from Venus, day by day, people are getting more and more frustrating, unable to understand why the inhabitants from Mars never seems to be able to grasp the point that this, though is small, is important.

My point here is, anyone can tell you little things are the things that matter the most. Unless, we, ourselves, think that this is not just any little thing, and realizing + admitting the importance(s), only then will we see it. Then only, it will become something that really matters.

To end, I would share something I read on the internet. How often do you have a bad day because a meteor chose your house as a landing spot? or a century old oak tree thought your car would be a comfortable place to lie down?

Or your bad day most of the time is due to a bunch of plain little things? (like traffic jam, over time working hours, etc)

You see, little things do matter, don't they?

@ Dr Hadi's son wedding

silly mistake

I did a silly mistake...

Professionalism... sigh

Do you know your name?

Do you know your name?

People often ask me questions like:

Is this your English name? or...

So, this is your Chinese name?

English, Chinese, Malay, or Indian I don't know. Don't know what are the differences and it is not my concern if it is a English name or a Chinese name or Malay name or an Indian name really. It is just a name, my name.

My standard reply is always, to smile and say, "That is my name".

I never really know there is a meaning to my name. My parents have no specific reason when they name me. I have a homework today; to find out what my name means.

I googled a few websites and did my homework.

The meaning of my name is: "God has added a child" or "God will add". Apparently, it is of Hebrew origin and it is actually a female version of the name Joseph.

Now, I know my name.

S'pore-Berlin-Frankfurt-Paris Honeymoon?!

"Singapore, Berlin, Frankfurt, Paris"

Geez. How can one go to these places for honeymoon?

Only if you are married to a tycoon or a king I guees.

Fooled

I stepped out of the car and my friend came telling me that Dr.J told him
to pass the message to me.

Collect the books from the library? Weird. She should be in the ward
working by now. Why library?

He explained in few reasonably logical words and walked off.

I wasn't convinced enough. Plus, the library is like almost 2 blocks away.
Thus, I thought of checking in the ward first, which is much nearer to my place
of duty.

We took the same lift up to the ward and my friend gave me a 'why-don't-you-believe-me-i'm-your-friend' kind of look. I
was totally in dilemma.

"Why would she be in that building at this hour?" I asked.

In the most 'selamba' tone, these words flowed out smoothly,
"Because she has a course there wat. The neonatal resusitation course."

Hmm. That is why she wants me to meet her there. I was totally
convinced at that point. The lifts open at the 6th floor and I made no exit.

I went all the way down to the ground floor and headed towards the ACC
building, where the library is. Just before I took the lift up to the library, I
received a sms:

"Today is April's Fool"

According to my friends, if you have been tricked on the April's Fool day, you are not allowed to get angry. Instead, you should laugh out and also probably say, "I am such a fool". Haha. Yea, rite.

It doesn't make you a fool when you are being tricked and fooled like that. It increases your endorphins anyway. So, chill out and share the laughters with the world.

On the other hand, there are times when you thought you knew someone enough and when you thought you understood someone enough, it is apparently incorrect. And that, I felt totally fooled.

I am guilty of being a fool. And "Ouch"! Yea, "ouch"!

Sigh.

Fooled and tired.

Better spend time, knowing something I would know and understand for sure. Back to mugging my faithful books.

Is this wrong?

Would anyone please tell me, is this wrong?

Is it wrong to have such thought?

Do you have a problem?

Ask anyone: "Who have problems?"

And you would probably get the whole world raising their hands in response.

Tepu

My "Ipanema"

Happiness :)

I have been eyeing on Ipanema sandals but they were always so pricey. And, today I got myself a decent pair of Ipanema sandals @ Rm 19.90 (in Terengganu!) !!! Its definitely worth buying though I would prefer it to be one size smaller. Anyhow, it still fits and.....

I'm happy :)

All I get

All I get are these...

.....for my birthday ???!!!!

Last week, I got attracted and influenced to play the "egg-y" machine or the "tikam" game. To play it is simple. All you need is 50 cents coin. Put the coin(s) in accordingly, turn the knob of the machine, wait for the machine to lay the "egg" out, and hoola~! You'll have your mystery gift inside your "egg". Open it, and shout. You can either shout in happiness (hopefully), shout in dismay, or shout in 'geramness'.


I got this cutie last week on my 3rd attempt:

And I was hoping to give myself a birthday treat with another cute animal soft toy. But, sigh!!!!! I got 3 'rotten' eggs instead. :(

'wish' & 'should'

A lot of times, I wished. I wished she would have fought harder. I wished she would have hanged on a bit more. Just a bit more.

It was harder to understand than I thought. I mean why wouldn't she make it through? She has made it through so much. So much. She got better too. She did. She survived an operation. And even survived a heart attack. Even the kidney failure was just transient. She should be discharging soon. But, just as things were getting better, her whole system decided to collapse? I could not comprehend. I do not understand.

She was strong. She has been strong. But, selfish me, I wished she would be stronger.

I wished she would just survived this once more. Just once more.

I wished the doctors could have done more instead of saying, "confused? why is she confused?", "she has got all the reasons to be confused". They should have done more.

As the "wish" & "should" moments came flooding again, I grieved. I grieved for her absence.



She fought a lot. And she fought enough. I know.

But, I also know that she is no longer here.






I miss you a lot, 'Apo'.

Missed MY flight!!!

Overlooking the window, I saw an airplane taking off. The airplane which I am supposed to be sitting in. Ah! Horrible!

Someone (caring enough) asked, "Am I tramatized?"

"YES! The fare! Now, I have to take a freaking expensive flight back to sad-land, KT"


uuuurrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh.......... freaking traumatized! :(

When Christmas have no reasons to be merry...

24th Dec 2008,


Christmas eve




Her progress fluctuates just like a roller coaster. She improves few days, deteriorates, and improves. I believe there is not a single system in her body was spared. She went in with liver enzymes sky high, found out to have cholecystitis, drainage done, had a cholecystectomy done upon noting that it is no longer functioning (dye injected past few days was still there). And five days later, she had an heart attack. It was scary enough to see how much she laboured for air. But she was strong. She improved. All the AF and tachy were no longer there. Then, her kidneys seems to be shutting down. Few dialysis were done. The nephrologist is happy with the improvement in this 89 years old lady. She is starting to pass more urine and even the urinary cathether was off today when I came to visit. Few times the doctors have commented on her remarkable recovery from all these stressors. Miraculous indeed. We were all thankful. Out of a sudden, she started to be confused and was hallucinating yesterday. At some point, they even have to restrain her arms from pulling off things off her body.

I went in this morning. She was still confused and hallucinating but less aggressive. Didn't manage to conversate with her properly. Stayed with her till 3pm. She was sleeping (plus moving her hands around) all the while. I barely see her awake. Didn't get to feed her anything. I went and pass the car to dad. Mom and dad does the evening shifts nowadays. Just before mom came home, the Dr called said they were unable to wake her up but she is still alive.

Mom and dad was still on their way there when my uncle informed that her systems has already collapsed. She won't make it through.


I held my breath and read through the sms again.


About an hour later, I received another sms.


She stopped breathing a while ago but she came back shortly. It is as if she was waiting,... waiting for someone. I with held the information, prepared a decent christmas eve dinner for granny. At about 11pm dad called, finally giving the grren light to go visit grandaunt, for the last time. We braved through the christmas eve jam. We arrived in that familiar room. When the world is celebrating in joy, here in that room, it was totally the opposite.


Dad and mom brought granny home. Relatives left shortly, one by one. I told them I would stay. I stayed. Slowly, and quietly... she left us.


6.44 a.m. , 25th Dec 2008, Christmas Day. It is also the day she left.