How are you doing up there? I have finally graduated, you know. "Ah Mah" came to my convocation. She looks happy. I couldn't be more happy to have her there with daddy and mommy to witness me receiving my MD in my "square-hat". I wished you were here too.
I have started my housemanship just recently in a place far away from home. It has been difficult, especially to be far from home. I felt alone. And I am scared.
Honestly, I don't see the glory of the title I am carrying. I am sure this come with a prize to pay but a lot of times I do wonder if I have enough to earn it through.
The ward can be frustrating or even depressing sometimes. I am sure you know it. I hated the beeping sounds of the monitors. But I hate it even more when the sound goes flat. It makes me think of you, "Ah Poh". I felt I could have done more. And it hurts whenever I think of that.
It doesn't take long to hate my job. "Ah Poh", I am sorry if I have let you down. I am not sure why I felt this way on "the passion" I am supposed to love. I do not know why and I am sorry, "Ah Poh".
You know, a colleague told me the other day that, we may not do what we like but we have to like what we are doing.
I am trying and I am learning to. Perhaps all I need is time?
I know no matter what, all you want is for me to be happy. Are you happy up there, "Ah Poh"?
I hope to be happy too. I promise you, I'll try.
"Ah Poh", I may not be as great as others, and I may not be as smart as others,... but please help me to know that if I am in this, let me at least be a good one too.
Miss you lots,...
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