se7en thingsz

ok..so, I have been tagged...Callyn, my mind is not working well either. Anyway, i juz 'hentam' the answers...and here are the:

SeVeN tHiNgSz

1.Se7en things that (will) scare me:
a) death of loved ones
b) uncertainty
c) dissapointment
d) sin
e) disaster & war
f) sex maniac/ sex offenders
g) ghost

2.Se7en things I like the most:
a) company - family & friends
b) sleep
c) food
d) bible , magazines & books
e) music
f) taking pictures
g) writting

3. Se7en most important things in my room : hostel room?
a) fan (with electric supply of coz!)
b) light
c) bed
d) mirror
e) laptop & internet connection
f) water bottles (with water in it)
g) alarm clockS
(oh yeah..books are important as well..its expensive too..)

4.Se7en random facts about me:
a) I am naughty
b) I'm not smart
c) I'm lazy
d) I'm not in a relationship/ I'm still single
e) I am a Christian
f) I can scream
g) I am a right-hander

5.Se7en things I plan to do before I die
a) tell my loved ones i love them
b) tell ppl God loves them too
c) to find someone who will truly love me & give my purest love to him
d) to get married & have a happy family
e) graduate & become a recognised doctor
f) travel the world
g) to learn chinese & music

6.Se7en things I can do:
a) eat
b) sleep
c) talk
d) be quiet
e) speak fu chow
f) drive ( YES, i can)
g) learn

7.Se7en things I can't do:
a) swim
b) sing soprano
c) read chinese books
d) read guys mind
e) live without oxygen
f) drink coffee & sleep
g) shop like a millionaire

8.Se7en words I say the most:
a) ermm...
b) dunno
c) dear God
d) oh no
e) i've put on weight
f) wei...
g) ...

9.Se7en celeb crushes:
- no, i dont hav any celebrity crush-

10.Se7en people I'll love to see doing this:
a) Pao Pao
b) Xiu Hui
c) Stella
d) Khai Yang
e) Lenny
f) T'ng Eine
g) Christopher

Birthday threat

This is not rated "U". I strictly warned you not to continue reading if you don't think you can take mean and cruel stuff.

I went to the clinic and the doctor's advice was to have sufficient rest especially if i might have a chance of re-exposure to ammonia again. Well, fine ...because i usually have one week of good rest before i will be tested positive for ammonia toxification again.

Please pardon me, not that i like to talk about ammonia but it is just barely 3 days... and...and...and...argghh...here's what has just happened...

oxygen's random thoughts:
blink*blink*...staring widely at the screen & yes..no doubts, it is ammonia calling..

ok...its still weekdays and ammonia should know well that i'm still in hostel and i'm not back home yet. Well, he won't be anywhere near here, would he? nah..i'm just thinking too much.

here goes...

Ammonia: hello!

Oxygen: hello. ( heart beat: 110/min ; respiratory rate: 25/min; B/P: 150/90; ..praying and keeping fingers cross that i will make it through this time safely. please, pretty please...)

Ammonia: Hi! ermm..where are you now? hostel is it?

Oxygen: Yeah...why? ( No! no! please don't tell me you are here or anywhere near here.)

Ammonia: hmm..are you coming back tomorrow?

( phew...thank God! I was just thinking too much,wasn't I?..hehe..silly me..)
Oxygen: tomorrow? no, i don't think so. why would i suddenly go back tomorrow?

Ammonia: well, are you not having any holiday tomorrow or wednesday?

Oxygen: ( puzzled...) holiday? why suddenly would i have holiday?

Ammonia: if you have holiday then you can come back tomorrow rite?

Oxygen: huh???

Ammonia: actually, tomorrow is my birthday and i want to buy you a meal.

Oxygen: oh, its your birthday?...erm, but i don't think its quite possible for me to go back coz i still have classes and i don't have any holidays. ( no... not just because it is your birthday, there would be holiday,ok?!)

Ammonia: you really cannot come back meh?

Oxygen: sorry...but you see if i do go back, how do i come back? i still have classes on wed's morning. really sorry yeah...

Ammonia: i was thinking coz it is my 21st birthday...and you really can't make it for my sake? ( whoa..i know that it is sort of like a big day for you but ...go back for your sake?? my doctor will have to put me on a pressure chamber and treat me with pure oxygen then...)

Oxygen: erm..sorry. you go treat other friends lar.

Ammonia: yeah,ok...but i want to bring u along as well. (how nice of u but really, it is ok)

Oxygen: but i don't think i can make it leh...

Ammonia: well, then arent you gonna do anything in compensation?

Oxygen: huh?...erm, like how??

Ammonia: like making yourself one of these days... ( is this some kind of birthday threat?)

Oxygen: well, i really don't know. even during the deepavali & puasa holiday i might be off to a church camp and then after the holidays i will have tests and plus i have a major exam coming up on december.

Ammonia: hmm..u are so busy huh?

Oxygen: yeah, i do feel busy and tired with such a busy schedule.

Ammonia: exam...on december but its just october now.

Oxygen: its november soon rite? and it is a major exam.

Ammonia: ermm..ok... ( i guess he did sound a bit dissapointed...gosh, am i being too cruel?)

Oxygen: sorry yeah. anyway, i wish u a be-earlied birthday wish and hope u will have a great time tomorrow.

Ammonia: haha..thank you. Bye.

Oxygen: Bye.

oxygen random thoughts:
now thinking back, its his 21st birthday... well, not that i don't want to be nice to him but... is he just a bit demanding? should i really just do some compensatory thing or should i not? not only that i'm being toxified but its begining to make me feel that i'm evil... hmm.. or did he practiced witch-craft or some brain washing thingy?


I meant no harm or any bad intention but i felt the necessity to share out my fear. Yes, your vision is completely fine. FEAR is the word. And i would be glad and appreciative if you have any good or constructive ideas or comments on this.

Ammonia ATTACK

It was a peaceful & relaxing friday night yesterday but some unforseen events do happen once in a while, when you are least expecting it. Below is the conversation between ammonia & oxygen:

Ammonia: Hi!Oxygen ah?

(with a very soft,tired voice...)
Oxygen: Hello.

Ammonia: Its me,Ammonia.

(using the same monotanous tone...)
Oxygen: Yeah. Whats up?

Ammonia: Oh..you just woke up is it? or did you just came back from MV? (no..its because of your ammonia toxic effect)

[some backgrond/ history: the previous ammonia attack was put off when oxygen said that it has been a tiring day after spending the whole afternoon in MV]


Oxygen: Nope. Just came back from school not long ago.

Ammonia: so late huh? how come?

Oxygen: yeah. well, my timetable is arranged like this. Class ended late and that is why i am back late.

Ammonia: i see..does your class always end so late?

Oxygen: it depends. (don't worry, if my class does ends early, u would be the very last to know about this )

Ammonia: Uh..ok..erm..are you free now?

Oxygen: Now? I have to go for dinner.

Ammonia: Oh yeah..you haven't eat,huh? Erm..what time will you be free then? ( duh..of coz i have not eaten. that is why i am going for dinner.)

Oxygen: well, i don't know. Why?

Ammonia: Oh, it has been a long time since i last saw you. Don't know how you have changed and how you look like right now...thinner? fatter?... Just want to catch up with you. So, what time will you be free tonight? (it's ok.i don't want to catch up with you)

Oxygen: haha..fatter, yeah.. but i think there's not much changes. anyway, i don't know what time will i be free coz i've got something to do after dinner.

Ammonia: something to do? (yes. anything but to go out with u)

Oxygen: yeah, helping my mom.

Ammonia: you mean like sweeping, mopping etc?

Oxygen: yeah... and i don't know what time will i be free.

Ammonia: you don't know when you'll be free?

Oxygen: yes.

Ammonia: ...ermm,ok. i guess next time then. (gulp...next time?! again?! HELP!!!)

Oxygen: uh..ok (very reluctantly)

[ you won't understand how heavy it is to say "ok" in reply.]

Ammonia: bye. (finally...)

Oxygen: bye. (phew...fresh air for detoxification.Thank God!)

- End of conversation-

Please take note: "end of conversation" ≠ end of attack

I do apologize for some very sarcastic thoughts posted above... but,please be understanding; its ammonia & its very toxicative!

A picture's worth a thousand words

The phrase goes like this:
"A picture's worth a thousand words" ... and i guess i have delivered at least 2 thousand words across...or if literally translated, it would be 20 thousand words said.

Anyway, i will have to get back and catch up with my studies now. Thats all for updates and enough said for today. =)

...BUT...

A dear teacher of mine once told me that in a BGR (boy-girl relationship), love can bring you all the happiness,joy and sweetness you'll never expect, tossing you on to cloud nine... BUT... at the same time, love can also give you unexpected dissapointments and hurting you to the depth, far beyond the Black Hole can bring.

Another same concept shared:
There's a mammalian species on earth called "Guys". They own a property called mouth. I don't know how important is this asset to them but I can sure tell you that they can use it very differently. They can have all the 'sweet talks' pouring out from their mouth, with scripts better than the Hollywood film director, trying to leave you in a hyperglyceamic state...BUT... at the same time, never forget to realize the other side of it... words coming out can also be shooting at you from every single possible direction, well, probably even to the point that sort of like 'degrading' you to the very end of the earth (and thus, enhancing their feeling of superiority i guess).

Well, enough said for the time being. Time for a good shower and continue with my studies and revisions.

The tension of opposites & chasing after wind

Today, Morrie told me something interesting. He talked about the tension of opposites :

‘‘Life is a series of pulls — back and forth. You want to do one thing, but are bound to do something else. Something hurts you and yet you know it shouldn’t. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.

A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle.’’

"Sounds like a wrestling match,I say.

"A wrestling match."He laughs. " Yes you could describe life that way."

"Which side wins?" "Love wins. Love always wins."

Interesting? Well,at least i find it interesting. "Most of us live somewhere in the middle... where? why? " I would ask myself. Though i have not come out with an answer, it is still worthwhile reflecting upon...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

[excerpted fr Tuesdays with Morrie]

..chasing the wrong things. This reminds me of a passage from the book of Ecclesiastes (傳 道 書):- everything is meaningless, just like a chasing after wind.

"Meaningless! Meaningless!"
says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless."

...This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

传 道 者 说 ： 虚 空 的 虚 空 ， 虚 空 的 虚 空 ， 凡 事 都 是 虚 空 。
... 这 也 是 虚 空 ， 也 是 捕 风 。


9 Be happy, young man, while you are young,
and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth.
Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see,
but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment.
10 So then, banish anxiety from your heart
and cast off the troubles of your body,
for youth and vigor are meaningless.
12:1
Remember your Creator in the days of your youth,
before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say,
"I find no pleasure in them"-

9 少 年 人 哪 ， 你 在 幼 年 时 当 快 乐 。 在 幼 年 的 日 子 ， 使 你 的 心 欢 畅 ， 行 你 心 所 愿 行 的 ， 看 你 眼 所 爱 看 的 ； 却 要 知 道 ， 为 这 一 切 的 事 ， 　 神 必 审 问 你 。
10 所 以 ， 你 当 从 心 中 除 掉 愁 烦 ， 从 肉 体 克 去 邪 恶 ； 因 为 一 生 的 开 端 和 幼 年 之 时 ， 都 是 虚 空 的 。
12:1
你 趁 着 年 幼 、 衰 败 的 日 子 尚 未 来 到 ， 就 是 你 所 说 ， 我 毫 无 喜 乐 的 那 些 年 日 未 曾 临 近 之 先 ， 当 记 念 造 你 的 主 。

What is important in life? and..are we chasing the right things in our life? or is it just a chasing after wind?

It's Friday again

It's Friday again, and there goes another week. It has been a 2 weeks off for us without the torturing-weekly-assessment, which gave me some extra space to breathe...phew..but for the coming week, we would all have to strive for the battle again. Hopefully we have all had some little recharge to face the upcoming PBLs and assessments, especially now that there has been some changes in the PBL grouping & with the introduction of the mentor-mentee thingy.. sigh

Anyway, after a long latent period, i find the need to go hav a walk in the shopping mall. No, NOT shopping...more of WINDOW shopping. Saw some nice and interesting stuffs but looking at the price and then back at my flat wallet again, it is like being poured with a big,bucket of cold,icy water. Haha. The money i spent today was on a little prezzie for my mommy, some prezzies for my friend's birthday, Tuesdays With Morrie (yeay!finally got tht book with the little help of a RM20 rebate coupon from my sister) and another '3 for RM10' pairs of earing (girls:this is a good place to shop for earings..haha)

I read 'The 5 people you meet in Heaven' by Mitch Albom some time ago and found it was a nice, interesting book (I'll probably share a little review on this sometime later when i'm motivated to do so) and since then, I've always wanted to get 'Tuesdays with Morrie'- an international bestseller...and yeay! its with me now. I've read around 27 pages on my way back home by KTM commuter and yup, no regrets buying it. Though it was a short reading, few things have captured my interest to ponder and reflect upon.This book is basically about an old man, a young man and life's greatest lesson. The old man- Morrie,a university proffesor was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), a terminal, neurological disease with no known cure. After leaving the hospital, while his wife has million of thoughts running through her mind on how much time left,how to manage,etc...meanwhile,Morrie was stunned...

"...was stunned by the normalcy of the day around him. Shouldn't the world stop? Don't they know what has happened to me?

But the world did not stop, it took no notice at all, and as Morrie pulled weakly on the car door, he felt as if he were dropping into a hole."

[a little excerpt from the book]

Reflection 1 : sometimes though you really wish that the world will at least stop or pause for at least a second and take notice of you and what you are going through... but,will that ever happen? this is like almost a 'never' kind of answer. The world will not stop. And there is where the feeling of sinking deeper and deeper into nowhere develops...

Same like anyone else, he has a choice to wither up and disappear or to live the life the fullest. He chose the latter and decided to make death his final project. Once, he went to one of his colleague's funeral..and came up with an interesting idea- he organized a "living funeral" because he taught it was a waste tht Irv ( his late colleague) could not hear all the wonderful things ppl said about him in the funeral.

Reflection 2: Have you ever thought of organizing your own "living funeral"? I have not, until I read this. And now, i'm thinking... would i ever want to do the same as what Morrie did if i have the chance to do so? and would you do so? As for me, i'm not too sure i'll have the courage to do so...

Well, I guess its enough said for the time being and i shall leave it to u to reflect & ponder upon. Its now no longer Friday night but Saturday morning. There goes another Friday...and i shall now retire to bed...

~Anyway~

Anyway

(A poem found engraved on the wall of Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta)

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,

people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,

people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,

people will forget tomorrow,
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,

and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got ... anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,

it is between you and God,
It never was between you and them anyway

What people may say or do is really not something we can control but yet it has influenced us in some or other ways that we may never be aware of. Sometimes, we might got so caught up & may even be so consumed by how the world response. How important is it to know how the world is looking upon us? Though it was never between me(or us) and them, just between me (or us) and God, I still,at times, feel the neccessity to know about that because 'no man is an island'. We are all blessed with a pair of eyes..be it the physical eyes or the eyes in our heart..we have different point of views to offer. We may not all share the same thoughts but all the thoughts can surely be shared together.

How do we go on believing how the rest of the world is looking upon us then?This reminds me of a chinese phrase: "一人传虚，万人传实" . It is just like when one speaks of something untrue,it may still be as it is,..when 2 or 3 person speaks of the same thing, there goes rumours.., when everyone starts speaking of the same 'rumours', we might end up believing the rumour itself. (do correct me if i am wrong)

Anyhow, no matter how the others or the world may be treating us, i believe it is important that we do not allow ourself to be consumed by all these..Why allow others to bring us to the fault line?...at the end, it is still and just between us and God anyway.

To do all these anyway may not easy to achieve but as like what i've always hold on to, 'it may be hard but it is not impossible'.

Love vs Like

Love's like that

HELLO, I'm Love. Do you know me? I bet you do. You can find me practically anywhere. I am there for everyone, yet I belong to nobody.

But you have to be very careful of me as I am very contagious. If you want me, you can get me from anyone - your parents, brothers and sisters, your friends, soul mate, and even your pet.
I'm really very special and different from my cousin, Like. When you're before me, your heart beats faster and winter seems like spring. But in front of Like, winter is just beautiful and you'll feel just the same.

The feeling of Love starts from the eyes, but the feeling of Like starts from the ears. If you stop liking a person, all you need to do is cover your ears. But if you try to close your eyes, Love turns into teardrop and remains in your heart forever.

How do one tell between 'love' and 'like' & how can I (or YOU) tell if i'm (or you are) in love or not? I've thrown these question out before but I never seem to get a clear definition or feedback. Perhaps that is because there is only a fine line between 'love' and 'like'... or perhaps not?

I was reading yesterday's Sunday Star's "Life & Soul" and this little passage caught my attention. Well, most of it sounds quite true i guess but how true is all these? I personally think that heart beats getting faster is not only restricted to special loved ones and may not necessary be increased when we are seeing them either. Judging by heart beat alone seems a bit too vague to me though there are times when we will fall into believing it. 'Surrrounding sounds' can also really make one into believing something and oftenly will land in blurry, messy & confused state, halfway hanging between 'love' and 'like'.

It reminds me of the passage from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 , which offer the best explanation that i know of on love:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails

When it comes to real life situation, I still can't find an answer to my questions on how to tell 'love' and 'like' apart though. Books, people and other resources may tell us 101 ways to ride a bicycle but if we did not go and experience and really try to ride on the bicycle ourselves, I guess we won't know how's riding a bicycle is like afterall. The same applies...

I am only 26% stupid =P

The new semester has begun & I have been kept quite busy..with so much to do and not to mention what i need to catch up with..sigh.. sometimes i do wonder will i survive all these with my pea brain. Thinking of this year end's proffessional exam is really sending shivers down my spine. depressing thoughts,huh..

Anywayz, i discovered a test from Callyn..a rather silly test actually, which if i choose to believe in, will make me feel better..for the time being at least. haha. Well, it shows that :

69% scored higher (more stupid),
5% scored the same,
and 26% scored lower (less stupid).

What does this mean? I am only 26% stupid. This means...I am kinda smart. Many have done better, but I did much better than half the other test-takers! phew..hehe.

When No Choice is a Good One

When No Choice is a Good One
A girl's guide to finding happiness in Japan
By Mimei Sakamoto
I found this interesting piece of 'manga' while reading someone's blog and i thought it would be worthwhile to share it here too. Well, that is in Japan but I do wonder how true is it over here in Malaysia? What is a girl's guide to finding happiness in Malaysia? Is it true that there's really no good choice for us or for you?

Personality tests

My Enneagram test results:

Main Type	Overall Self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Having learnt about Maslow's hierarchy of needs,Carl Jung's personality type and some Freud's interesting theories, I often wonder where am I or rather what trait am I in. Am I an extrovert or introvert? Well, from the big 5 personality test I've just taken,my extroversion results suggest that i'm average somewhere in between being assertive and social and being withdrawn and solitary.Hmm..this sounds quite true to me.

Also, the test results suggested that my Global 5 Sloan Type Description is SLUAN, which comes with these descriptions:

often late, influenced more by others than self, easily frustrated, frequently driven to impress others, easily moved to tears(am i?), does not believe everything can be explained scientifically, fires back when someone hurts them(really??), not analytical, easily distracted, does not always know what they are doing, easy to get to know, easily impressed, easily influenced, rarely prepared, not controlling, prone to jealousy, not bothered by disorder, low self confidence, acts without hesitation, not self reflective, thinks fun is the most important thing in life, worrying, easily hurt(oh my goodness..really??), spontaneous, tense, high maintenance(huh?why?), not detail oriented, unpredictable, prone to attachment, not interested in science, not afraid to draw attention to self, anxious, does not know why they do some things, not strict with self, inexplicably happy some of the time, attentive to appearances, underachiever, bases goals on inspiration rather than logic, will do a lot to avoid rejection, swayed by emotions, uses acts of kindness to get closer to people (i dont think i understand myself)


and also primary type describe me as non-curious, which says:

does not used ideas and tools to transform understanding, not analytical, does not enjoy imaginatively playing with interconnections and patterns, underachiever(true), dislikes science fiction, weak connection to mind, does not look for hidden meaning in things, search for identity has not played a big role in their life, not nerdy(thank God..haha), more sensual than intellectual, not mystical, not big on art house movies, does not prefer technical careers (law, engineering, medicine-hmm, but i'm studying medic now..maybe i should re-evaluate & reconsider?..), not particulary introspective, not skilled at fixing things, not a loner

blink blink...well, frankly speaking i didn't know myself as what i'm suggested to be.Or am i? think i better do more self relflection though i'm suggested not to be self reflective...

hOusE ChOreS

If i could walk up the ceiling like Jeremy, i probably would have escaped some house chores. haha. I knew that mom would start babbling about some super-tough-chores (eg.cleaning the exhaust fan) that need to be done..and especially that i'm on holiday now,I should have the time and energy to do it. All of sudden, i felt that my bone density increased by tonnes,and i'm suffering from a narcolepsy-like disorder plus i'm hypersensitive to dust particles,detergents...bla bla...the list goes on.Well,I could tell from the signs and symptoms that i'm down with an infection- lazy germs infection! If only i could get a MC and be exempted from all those house chores...sigh

~reflection~

Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you’ll never know me
Every day, is as if I play apart
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I can not fool
My heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
I am now
In a world where
I have to
Hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What’s inside my heart
And be loved for who I am...

...Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I’m forced to hide?
I won’t pretend that i’m
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflections show
Who I am inside?

Reflection by Christina Aguilera